PRELUDE - The magic of using an issues list:
1) By listing an issue (on paper, or in your list app), you have already entered the realm of breakthrough. When you write something down it moves from the inside of you to the outside of you, which makes it less personal and more manageable.
2) Keeping your issues on a list allows those issues that are truly worth addressing to maintain priority and issues that are petty to slip down in priority and perhaps even be dropped.
3) The worst time to talk about an issue is when we feel the most urgent need to talk about it. You do NOT want to come to an issue “hot.” Use an issues list!
Bottom line: If you do not use an issues list, your unconscious, panicked self will by pass your rational self i.e “If I don’t talk about this right now, I’ll end up just sweeping this under the table, or minimizing it- It will never be addressed and I will never feel safe or loved. I’d better launch, immediately!! “(and BOOM, all hell breaks loose). Not a good program.
If you do use an issues list, it is a calming message to your soul…”Everything’s cool. We’ll get to this. I’m O.K. Life is good. We’ll get to the issue, for sure. It’s on my list. I’ll wait until the right moment, i.e. Nightly Check-In or Weekly Inventory.
When you have an issue (either brewing or that comes up out of nowhere), follow this simple, miraculous protocol:
1) Rather than launching (also known as “ambushing”), list the issue on your your issues list.
Consider todoist, evernote or trello. Keep your issues listed, each one with a rating, in a "todoist" list, or in some other easily accessed document, ideally on your phone.
2) Rate your issues from 1-10 (10 being the hottest).
This assures dealing with the top issues, one at a time.
3) Work out your victim story, lack of trust, upset and disappointment with God.
Get out for a walk. Ideally get in some negative ions in the forest or by a body of water. Use your Walk List (especially the recording). See Managing Outgoing for the complete story.
4) If you’re not on a Relationship Cleanse, after you’ve worked through your upset, bring your one, specific issue, (always one at a time) along with your requests, to your spouse in U.S.A. form at either Nightly Check-In or Weekly Inventory.
See Managing Outgoing for the complete story.