Getting Uncomfortable

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Because I coach life mastery principles, I continue my own education by participating in relevant training and education.

During a recent and very difficult breakthrough and consciousness training I attended, there were a couple of moments where what we were working on was so difficult I wanted to blow off the whole training and go buy some apple fritters.  I just couldn’t seem to get what the exercises were about. It all felt awkward and uncomfortable! 

But often, a good sign that you’re heading in the right direction is not that you feel comfortable, but that you feel UNcomfortable.  

It would have been very comfortable for me to skip the training I mentioned above. It’s comfortable to not take risks or learn new skills. And sometimes, It’s comfortable watching everyone else accomplish hard goals and even applauding their victories rather than creating your own. It’s comfortable being less than we are designed to be!

Andy Puddicombe ( reminds us that our first run with consciousness and meditation (a big part of any life mastery course) can feel awkward, just like the first time you drove a car.  Think about it! Now, you just get in the car and go!

Give yourself time.  Soon enough, principles of success and life mastery, including even things like meditation and breakthrough work, will all feel very natural.

As with the Karate Kid, it is mastering “wax on / wax off” kinds of basics that propels you to personal growth and professional victories, as uncomfortable as it might be. Waxing a lot full of cars got uncomfortable for the Karate Kid, even painful - so did all the sanding and painting. Winning the Karate championship was glorious! So victory also waits for you! - whether it be in your relationships, your business or your health.

What we saying?  The road to what you want can include long open stretches of what you don’t want. Perfect! Stay on the road. Let us be there for you. We’re in this together!!

Love, John & Narelle

Mastery participants (Click Here)


Running Water

I was walking along the Provo river with Narelle the other day.  It had been raining. The water was moving through its course with majesty.  It was so beautiful. There were however, little areas of trapped- still water.  I was struck by the contrast- the moving water being so awesome and beautiful vs. the still water being sort of incidental and depressed .   

Moving water is life.  It is continually embracing change- adjusting to each challenge, each new dip in its course, each bolder or fallen tree.  Still water however, is neither welcoming anything new nor releasing anything old. Consequently, still water is toxic. It is mosquitoes, bacteria, disease and death.   

It’s really such a simple choice: Embrace and adapt, or, insist on things staying the same when they need to change or being different when it would be better to stay the course. Joyfully navigate the boulders and fallen trees or move off to the side and hide out until conditions improve.

I saw a bumper sticker today, "Achieve or Abandon."   So true! To achieve is to keep moving, keep adapting and keep embracing with all the celebration and joy of a running river.   If not, then you abandon. No splashing mists, no beautiful sounds of movement and celebration- just you, holed up somewhere with a T. V. dinner, complaining about how things are, resisting what is, determined to just sit it out until the end comes.   

Don't do this. You are not still water.  You are running water. You are embracing every moment of the journey- every part.  You aren’t just moving through life, enduring to the end.  You are thanking God, with all of your heart for the very boulders, fallen trees and dips that could have otherwise caused you to pull over and die.  No! Keep going. Face into the opportunities of growth and service that are before you. You are running water. The magic of your life, the joy we hear in your forward movement is the singularity of your commitment to choose the path that is before you, whatever it is. 

Agreement 8: I will choose the path of greatest opportunity. I will face my willingness and my gratitude into the hard part of the journey.

Click here for Agreement 8 Homework (It's sooooo important)

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Everything is Going to Be O.K.

Agreement 7:  Assist Others In Showing Up As Their Real and Best Selves  (This Agreement is also known as "Johnny Lingo.")

As my boy Geoffrey once said, “we create the people in our life by what we're looking for.”  The question is, what are you looking for?   

In our fear and doubts it’s easy to expect the worst-  to anticipate the inevitable disasters we sense in the lives of those we love.   Perhaps we think this will ease the pain we will experience when this person finally and fully crashes and burns, or even dies.

The truth is, however, that what we anticipate- what we “look for” is a major factor in the outcome.  Chances may be slim of your child or spouse, or friend turning around and finally emerging into the happy, productive life he or she was born for.  But you are looking for slim.   

Studies have shown that how we treat someone is a compelling influence.  In one study, researchers tested 30 elementary school students, then randomly picked 5 kids and told the teacher that these kids scored as “gifted.”  Researchers tested the 30 kids later in the year and found that these 5 kids they had randomly picked scored higher than the rest of the class.

This is what's so miraculous about Johnny Lingo- about paying attention, not to the disappointments, but to the possibility.

What is my message as Johnny Lingo?  What is my opportunity? It is this- that through the grace of God, I will be the mirror of possibility, of hope and even of miracles in your life.   

This is our message to our loved ones, even those that may seem lost right now:

You're going to make it!  
You are beloved of God.
You can be blessed with strength to overcome this.  
I so believe in you.  
I am so excited to have you in my life.  
I know God can lead you to what you want- to what you're working toward.  

No matter how things appear, what you decide to see can be what actually is.  

Be still and hold the mirror of what you see in front of this person you love so much.  It may be against all odds, but your message will always be the same:  Everything is going to be O.K. How can it not? We were born for glory.  We were born for hope, for love, for wholeness and for happiness. You know that Johnny Lingo.  This is the mirror you hold. This is the message your bring. In the grace of God, in the strength that He gives, whisper this sweet truth into his or her soul: Everything is going to be O.K.  

Mastery Participants - Click here for Agreement 8 Action

Let there be light

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In our anger, judgement, projections and blame, as humans, we can inadvertently lead each other to believe something that is not true - that we are less than beautiful. 

Telling someone the truth about who he or she is (even when they initially resist it) is to liberate this person. It is to say “You are beautiful.  You are powerful.  You are  gifted.  You are needed!”  Hearing these kinds of words, when sincerely spoken, stirs a person's sense of potential.  It's kindling for a fire. 

What’s so fascinating about being Johnny Lingo- what it is so compelling about shining this light into the world is that it’s not just fluffing someone - it’s actually true!  How could this be? How could the lowly maid and prostitute, Aldonza suddenly become Dulcinea?  How could this young student (in the movie “Freedom Writers”) who thought so little of himself, suddenly experience his own potential- his own greatness?

The answer is, someone was willing to say the truth.  Not that it wasn’t true before, but that it was static.  In a sense, this is how something is brought into existence - someone sees something, before it appears, and perhaps even more important, someone actually says it-  “And God said Let there be light and there was light.”  Perhaps the light was there all along. Perhaps God was simply freeing the light- unleashing it.  I’m not really sure. But I do know this; that by the Almighty’s words, light came into existence.  

So it is with people’s beauty and power, potential and greatness.  Our words to each other tend to create, what was up to that point, unseen.   

So when I look at you and see you and speak the truth about you, even if it’s just something like “Good morning Norma.  You look beautiful today!”, Is that true?  Norma is 87. She’s been sick most of her life. She’s coming out of a deep depression related to several deaths in her family.  She could barely drag herself into her closet this morning to pick out a dress for church, and yet here you are telling her that she looks beautiful!? Is it true? Of course it’s true!  

We are shining, beautiful children of the living God!  We are His offspring, literally. His spiritual DNA runs through us!

Like a little flower struggling to break through the crust of the earth, everything that God is, is desperately seeking to break through the crust of doubts and limits we live in.   The only thing that’s missing sometimes is you!  The only thing that’s missing is for you, Johnny Lingo, to show up in someone’s life with the good news about who they really are.

Here’s the kicker.  It’s pretty easy to do this with people at church, at work, even on the streets.  But where it means the most is where you have felt the most frustration or hurt;  i.e. spouse, children, parents.  Despite everything, you are the person who knows them best.  “If  you can see it” they say to themselves, “then I can see it.”

And so they can.  And so they will. And here’s the best part.  What does it take for you to look past your own hurt and see the beauty and potential in your spouse or in someone else who has been a trial for you?  It takes your greatness.  It takes your forgiveness, your discernment, your spiritual connection with your Father in Heaven.  It takes the best in you. So it is that “it is the greatest part of me that sees the greatest part of you.”  (from Agreement 7).

Johnny Lingo, you see the miracle in others? You are the miracle.

Click here for Agreement 7 "Reboot" Challenge and other wonderful homework possibilities and awesome videos. 

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Where It Might Hurt the Most

Where It Might Hurt the Most, or What do Zombies Have to do With Agreement 5?

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We all feel a certain amount of pain, seemingly all the time.  Agreement 5 (Heal the Real Wounds) says: Pay attention to where it hurts for you, personally.

In this, consider the possibility of a hierarchy of pain.

Earth Pain

At the bottom is our basic human experience is what I call “Earth Pain.”  It just hurts to be here on earth. Neil Maxwell said that we are a timeless people caught temporarily in time.  “Clearly, time is not our natural habitat.” Disconnected from our previous infinite perspective, to some degree, we feel a lost and alone just being here.

Abused and Betrayed

On top of this, to one degree or another, we are born into and perpetuate a trans-generational wave of dysfunction, shame, anger and abuse.  For many, the karmic river of opportunity flows deep. Millions suffer each day with very painful life experiences. More or less, most of us understand where it hurts when it comes to feeling abused, abandoned or betrayed by someone.

Self Betrayed

With the first two dimensions of pain, there isn’t too much we can do about the incoming.  We are here on earth. We are born into dysfunction. We can and should feel the pain, give as much as we can to God and develop therapeutic possibilities for healing.   

The third dimension of pain is the most important because it is the dimension we actually have control of; self betrayal

There are obvious ways we betray ourselves- negative self talk, dishonesty, abusing others, abusing ourselves, acting out of integrity, the list goes on.  Perhaps the place it hurts the most, is the least obvious:

It hurts when we betray our basic nature to love and to serve.  We are designed to touch others. We are designed to lift others, and when we don’t it really hurts.  

It is a lonely place, a life sentence of unhappiness.  

There is only one way to free ourselves from this kind of isolation.  The world around us, the people that God brings into our path, has to move from theory to reality.   Your family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, everyone, must become a chance for you to serve and to touch someone else.  For as I reach out to touch your life, I am freed from prison.

In the movie, “I Am Legend”, Will Smith survived a zombie apocalypse.  He and his dog, for a while, seem to be the only one’s still left (at least in his area).   Every few days he goes to a video store. He has set up some manikins there to make it seem like there are other people.  At one point, in tears, he pleads with one of the manikins, “Please say hello to me. Please.” But the manikin isn’t real, she cannot talk to him.  What is perhaps even more said, is that she cannot hear him. If he were to reach out to her, she could not feel his touch. He cannot affect her for good.  He cannot touch, or heal or inspire her life, because she is not real.

This is what is perhaps so lonely for Will.  The world is spinning by without him. He is not part of anything because he cannot serve anyone.  Then, suddenly, another real human being appears. His spirits are lifted. They embark on a project together to find a zombie vaccine and ultimately Will gives his own life to save humanity.  That’s how much we need to serve. This is how much meaning service has to our eternal souls, that if it means to lose our own life, en route to completely and permanently touching someone else, it is a price we are willing to pay.

Where it hurts the most is where it is easiest to get lost.   We are, as the Savior said, designed to lose our lives in the service of others.   We are designed to feel fully alive as we fully give and serve.

Click here for Agreement 5 Recordings.   

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Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."

In a sense, unless you're willing to love your neighbor and yourself,  you really can't love either!  Love is like the sun.  It shines.  Period.  It doesn't shine on some and not others.  So, if I choose love, it's toward you and me. 

As Covey said, "Love is a verb."  So the way I shine on you and on me is caring for you and caring for me too.  But how does this look when it comes to boundaries?

In a sense, God gives us two jobs: 

Job 1, to love our neighbor- to love the people He has put in our lives and that we have drawn into our lives, and to love them with all our hearts.

Job 2, to love ourselves. 

Interestingly, we can't do either job unless we do both.  

But how? 

In sensitive situations, in your most intimate relationships, when things aren't feeling comfortable for you, how do you come through for loved ones without letting yourself down? 

One simple word:  "and." 

I will never leave you  AND   I will never leave me.

Let's take a deeper look:

1) The word “and” is the difference between love and doormat.

If I "love" you but am not willing to love me, then I'm willing to endure a relationship or situation I'm not comfortable with.  Now instead of loving you, I have addicted myself to you and will eventually resent you.

2) The word “and” that is the difference between divorce and boundaries.

If I "love" me but am unwilling to love you, then I am prone to bolt rather than committing to the wonderful and often painful process of living in my boundaries (in the centering questions).

But if I am willing to love you, and me, as long as I sense your sincerity, I will never leave you. I will live in the centering questions and lovingly, consistently, relentlessly see to guide you to something that works for both of us.  And in this, I will never leave me. 

To love your neighbor then, is to love yourself and visa versa.

So in your world, the sun is always shining and it is shining on everyone, including you.   

Mastery Participants - Click here for this week’s action

WalMart and Walks in the Mountains

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Our work this week in Agreement 2 is using selected breakthrough methods to move from negative to positive feelings.

I was thinking about this on a walk as I passed a retirement center.  My heart sank inside of me. "I don't want to end up there” I thought.  “I don't want this last phase of my earthly journey. In fact I don't want my life on earth to end at all!  I love it here! I don't want to say goodbye to parks, to 7/Eleven, to Walmart, to DVDs, to walks in the mountains.  Why must I go through this?"

I used an air pencil and summarized my feelings to my left.  Then I waited for inspiration as I moved myself closer to God.  

Soon I felt two sweet and clear impressions, which I wrote to my right.

1) “John, everyone will go through it.  No one is left behind. It's not like you're the only one on this path.  All who you love will be with you again,” and

2) “I'll be with you through this.  Don't worry.”

Suddenly,  I had broken through some subtle despair into the light of hope and love.   

God wants us to live in breakthrough.

Mastery Participants - Click here for this week’s action

Plan for Success


Spending even 5 to 15 minutes a day on planning and working your lists can be life changing.  Consider these principles and guidelines in order to ensure effective planning:

Ask Yourself the Right Questions
Prayerfully ask questions that can open you up to inspiration and vision.  Based on your answers you might re-prioritize or even replace different projects and actions.

  • What are my top goals?

  • Are these really my top goals or is there something else or different?

  • Within these goals what are my most important projects?

  • As I look at these projects what are the most important actions?

  • As  it look at these actions what would be the most important actions for this week?

  • What would be the most important actions for today?

  • What could I put directly in my Google Calendar and when?

  • What goals or projects am I willing to archive or incubate for now, that others might live (It is better that one project perish than a whole list of projects dwindle in lack of action.). Being willing to hibernate or incubate projects and actions is huge.  

Guiding Principles and Guidelines

Planning first.  Action 2nd. Carpenter’s rule: “Measure twice, cut once”

Be prayerful. Be inspired. Ask for God's guidance. Time spent in prayer doubles the effectiveness of time in action.

Meditate on the why.  Think of the people who need your inspiration, your smile, your commitment to excellence, and your love.  Think of how you'll feel when it's over- as you look back with contentment and gratitude for the opportunity to come through for them, for yourself and for God.

I wrote about this once, after realizing my priorities were out of order.

David Allen’s 2 minute rule: If you can get something significant done in 2 minutes just do it! Bypass your planner. Bypass your google calendar.

Be willing to delegate (i.e. your children, co-workers, employees etc.) even if means hiring someone.  Stephen Covey once said that even if he was at his office for only 2 hours during a work day, he would spend 30 minutes of that time training and empowering his assistant. 

Return to and stay present to your lists and calendar.
Build trust with your brain.  "Wow, he IS coming back to those lists and to his calendar.  I won't have to keep reminding him over and over."

Finally, and most importantly put first things FIRST.  How? BLOCK OUT TIME for projects and key actions in your google calendar.  This is the most important of all principles and guidelines.

How are you doing?

If, each day, your lists just keeps getting longer consider these questions:

1) Are you putting actions in your “today” list, or directly in your google calendar? (or just leaving them stranded in your different, project lists)
2) Are you letting less important things get in the way of important actions?
3) Are you willing to archive some projects that others may live?
4) Are you willing to take the extra and sometimes agonizing time to delegate, train and empower others?  (This is often the big key).

Click here for more incredibly helpful homework, recordings and videos.



Mastery Tip #1

Mastery Materials can occur as overwhelming.

Mastery Materials can occur as overwhelming.

Dear Mastery Family!

Mastery is not so much a project in and of itself. It's a support for getting YOUR projects done and your life mastered.

Don't worry about how much homework you get done etc. Every aspect of Mastery is only a possibility for support. Do as much or as little homework as you'd like. Remember, it's not a course and there are no grades!

We're here to cheer you on in whatever you're doing and however you're doing it.

Even if you just complete the Tuesday night meetings, you'll end up[ ahead of your own game. Everything else can be a bonus!

We love you guys!

John and Narelle

P.S. The good news is (and this is the magic of Mastery) the net analysis will show a gain. Whatever time you put in will come back to you in increased effectiveness, stronger relationships, better health, greater peace and even more money.

Click here for what we've been working on this week.

Pour It On


Fire occurs between oxygen and some sort of fuel.  The fuel must be heated to its ignition temperature for combustion to occur and destruction to begin.  

Think of negative, limiting, fearful thoughts as fuel.  Think of negative, outside input as heat.

What do I mean by negative input?  

a) Too much news -  in other words, listening for the sake of listening without any proactive involvement.  It’s paralyzing. It’s stifling. It’s frustrating, unless you are in some kind of action about what you are listening to.  This world needs less agitation and more action. Get involved or turn it off.

b) Too much music -  especially Pop - In 2008, Adrian North of Scotland's Heriot-Watt University published the largest study yet of musical taste, involving 36,000 people, 60 countries and three years of work. One group of listeners showed a genuine and significant lack of creativity: pop music lovers.

It’s not just a lack of creativity though.  Music in general takes you into someone else’s world, someone else’s emotions, someone else’s story and out of your personal power.  I’m not saying there’s not a place for music. There definitely is, especially inspirational music (i.e. “I Can Only Imagine”), and sometimes you are indeed blessed with someone else’s story - a story with good ending- a story that inspires action.  

In general though the danger of too much news and too much music is thinning not only your creativity but your sense of personal power, literally adding heat to the current fuel of negative thoughts, creating of course a fire and your life coming down.

Let’s go back to the initial fuel: Your own thoughts - meaning, without realizing it we tend to hurl ourselves into a powerless stupor as we turn the brain to “spin cycle” and continue to play the old tapes of our personal failures and weakness, with no clear objective.  We don’t even notice we’re doing it. It’s just happening in the background.

So, fuel (your thoughts) + heat (negative input) = fire (your life burning down)

What’s the solution?  Positive, inspirational, input.   How much?  Pour it on.

When a fire truck pulls up to a burning house they don’t show up with squirt guns.  Check the picture above. These guys are drenching the place. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?  That house is your mind. Pour it on!

My friend Eric, who inspired this blog, was talking with me yesterday, “John, with what’s going on in most of our heads, we can’t afford to just dabble in inspirational input.  We need to put our headphones on and flood ourselves!”

What am I suggesting?
Joel Osteen
Tony Robbins
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir
K-love Christian Radio
Casting Crowns
Mercy Me
Stephen Covey
Louise Hay
Les Brown
Caroline Leaf
Steven Curtis Chapman

The list goes on.  The result? The real you emerging.  Because according to Caroline Leaf, the real you, buried beneath the negative,  is actually and naturally positive.

That doesn’t mean you don’t need to cry it out sometimes.   You do, and when you’re crying from your pain, not your blame- when you’re crying out the pain and hurt so you can open yourself to healing, this is super positive.  I’m talking about, as a main diet, positive, inspirational input.

Getting somewhere wonderful, for most of us, is a long journey.  And that takes fuel.  So you know what to do.

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1) Inspirational input is not a substitute for action.  It is to inspire action. This is not the case with millions, who listen to everything and seem to do nothing.  This is not you!

2) Walking is the perfect combination with inspirational input.  

3) I'm not saying not to listen to music.  I am saying, get fueled up with positive thoughts and energy.   At the same time, be sensitive to your need for balance.  Research indicates, for instance, that upbeat music can really enhance your workout.  And sometimes it's just time to party!   Putting on some great dance music and going wild with your friends can be balancing and even healing  (My personal favorite is Michael Jackson). 

4) Headphones, CDS etc. are for your steady, daily flow of inspiration.  But now it's time for your Friday night movie.  Oh yes, and we are just getting started on the inspirational input:

Classics like: It's a Wonderful Life, Family Man, Big Fish etc. 

Christian movies (which are always good, even the B movies) - "I Can Only Imagine" (one of Narelle and I's favorites)  "War Room," "The Passion", "The Encounter", etc.

LDS movies (i.e. "Once I Was a Beehive", "Saratov", "The Other Side of Heaven")

The list is endless 

My friend Eric even suggests that some post it reminders could be helpful.

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Seeing is Healing

Through the grace of God, whatever you are willing to see- that you could have done differently, it is as if, this is what you did do.

For instance, if you can now see that you could have been more supportive to your spouse during a crisis, through your sincere sorrow and through grace, it is as if you actually were more supportive.  

In your willingness to come to Jesus and, as appropriate, make amends with someone you’ve injured, something changes in you -  something is healed in the person you let down, and something, somehow, is made right.

How is this done? What actually happens?  I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that this gives us the power to tell ourselves the truth.

The ability to tell yourself the truth (to honestly account) does not come all at once, but if you’re committed. This honesty will leave you free and empowered, for God is willing to pour His healing love and forgiveness into your honest and open.

This is the magic of accountability; 

  1. In your humility you honestly look at your choices.

  2. As you look you see.

  3. As you see, trusting in Christs atonement, your heart becomes even more open.

  4. As your heart becomes more open, the grace of God becomes even more present.

  5. And as the grace of God becomes more present, all things tend to work together for your good (and everyone else's good).

The Gospel means "Good News."  What could be better news than this? As we humbly come to understand what we could have done, then, through the atonement of Christ, it's as if we did it.

Click here for Agreement 9 Action and other videos

Embracing What Is, Brings Me Home to God

Agreement 8 lands in this Mantra:

“I'm so thankful for everything, just as it is-  especially for the opportunity of growth, service, love, forgiveness, patience & humility inside of ______________________ (whatever you're resisting) and that through this you are making weak things strong and bringing me home.  Thank you for bringing me home." 

Your homework this week is to say above every day (or perhaps for the rest of your life.) with your arms out wide by your window, or on your knees in your closet with your head bowed in reverence, gratitude and commitment. Either one.

Picture by Xan Griffin

You Are Beautiful In Every Way

It’s easy to interpret other people’s anger, or judgement or abuse as a reflection of who we are.  It’s easy to reach spurious conclusions:

“I’m not good enough.  Obviously.  Why else would he (or she) be treating me like this? I’ve been positive and full of energy before.  That didn’t work out.  I’ve been in touch with my sexuality before.  I’ve been affectionate or competent before.  It only brought me heart ache.  I took some chances showing up as my real self before, but I won’t be hurt again.  I will spare my self of further pain.  I will not give you all of me.  I will not give you the real me.  I will only give you part of me, so that the rest of me can be safe in my tree.”

We set up tests for people to prove that this is all true.  It is what I call the “Mahana Test.”  “I will not come to you with my excellence or virtue until you accept me in my compromise (what I also call “my shadow self”).  

A woman, for instance, who was sexually abused is inclined to show up unsexy.  Her sexuality is the source of great pain.  Her abuse is also the proof that she has been and will always be nothing more and nothing less that what people can use her for.  So she will test the men in her life.  “Even though I’m not showing up as sexy (my former real self), if you will love me in my shadow self - if you will love me ‘as I am’ (not sexy), then I know that I have true, inner worth.”

A man who was told what a “good boy” he was, because unlike the other kids in his family, he always seemed happy and never seemed to have any significant problems or needs.  This man could conclude that to be loved he must avoid being vulnerable or honest or in need of anything or anyone.  He may ultimately rebel against this imposition or acting out.  He wants to see if people will love him as a lunatic, or erratic, or unrestrained.  “If you will love me ‘as I am’” he says - in my shadow, crazy not good boy self’ then I will I will know that I am truly loved.”

Behind all of this fear- behind these tests and sabotages is the truth about you.  Because the real you is sexy!  The real you actually is composed, moderate and considerate!  

Joel Osteen points out that this real self is like a little chick trying to peck it’s way out of a shell of fear of false voices, and for Mahana, an inclination to keep testing people until she can prove that she will never be loved “as she is.”

Our fear of rejection and our inclination tests people’s love and acceptance dissolves in 3 stages:

1) We must be willing, in prayer and meditation, to hear the truth about yourself.  

I’ve often suggested to people asking God directly, “Dear Heavenly Father, do you love me?” and then wait for an answer.   The answer may not come in words, but it will come in a feeling.

I read a card once, inspired by Libby Roderick that speaks to this kind of experience:

You are beautiful in every way.  You are loved in every way.  You are perfect in every way-  for in every way you are perfectly loved.

Your life, your love and everything about you is nothing less than a miracle.

How could anyone fail to see this?

Yet, beyond the voices of this earth, in Heaven, a song is ever playing.  It is the music of truth - the perfect melody of who you really are.

Listen to this music- to this voice, and know that you are beautiful!

2) We must be willing, to say the truth about our self, even if it feels uncomfortable.  We must be willing to at least consider the possibility that we are children of a living God who loves us and who’s spiritual DNA runs through our soul.

Going back to Joel’s statement about the chick, as you say the truth about yourself, it’s not that your making up something, it’s that you’re finally willing to admit and to give power now, through your voice, to what has been trying to emerge your entire life!   

I was amazed just the other day as I read these out loud to my Mastery friends, just how naturally these words want to sink into me.  It was like water going into a paper towel.  Why?  Because it’s true.  We may not have played this all out yet, but it’s all in the blue print.  That’s why it feels right to say it.  

So as you’re reading this blog right now, stop for a moment.  Stand up tall, or sit up straight and tell yourself the truth.  Are you ready?  Here it comes (Here you come):

  • I am blessed.

  • I am prosperous

  • I am successful.

  • I am victorious.

  • I am talented.

  • I am creative.

  • I am wise.

  • I am healthy.

  • I am in shape.

  • I am energetic.

  • I am happy.

  • I am positive.

  • I am passionate.

  • I am strong.

  • I am confident.

  • I am beautiful (I am attractive)

  • I am valuable.

  • I am free.

  • I am redeemed.

  • I am forgiven.

  • I am accepted.

  • I am accepting.

  • I am approved.

  • I am prepared.

  • I am qualified.

  • I am motivated.

  • I am focused.

  • I am determined.

  • I am patient.

  • I am generous.

  • I am excellent.

  • I am equipped.

  • I am disciplined.

  • I am empathetic.

  • I am full of life.

  • I am able.

  • I am compassionate.

  • I am competent.

  • I am kind.

  • I am secure.

  • I am precious beyond price.

  • I am of infinite worth.

  • I am God’s own child.

  • Christ atoned for me.

    Inspired by Joel Osteen’s “The Power of I Am”

3) We must be willing to live the truth about ourselves.  

This means you will go in the opposite direction of your Mahana tests;  

If you have been showing up as unsexy to see if people will love you as you are, you will get in shape, wear makeup (if you look good in makeup), look members of the opposite sex directly in the eyes and take the chance that something could spark!  How fun!

If you’ve been showing up as unmotivated, you will light a fire in every area of your life.  You will passionately and positively move toward your truest desires.  You are a pillar of action!
This is really you!  Why would you test someone to see if they will love you in your shadow self when your real self is so much more fun?

And that’s the whole point Mahana, why are you testing us in your compromise when it would be so much more fun to love us in your excellence.

Click here for this week’s homework possibilities, featuring listing 5 to 10 of the above affirmations on your bathroom mirror and saying them every morning for at least a week.

Click here for these week's affirmation

You only pass this way once.  How will you show up?  In your beauty?  In your excellence?  In your competence? -  or your compromise, your testing, your shadow self   Show up as the real you Mahana.  Come down from the tree.

How to Listen to or Say Affirmations

Affirmation blog.gif

Re posted 5 16 2018

Saying or listening to Affirmations can be empowering and motivating or cause resistance and frustration, depending on your approach.  

Here's are two helpful tips:

Tip #1) Don’t try. Don’t resist. Just Be.
As you say or listen to affirmations, don't try to feel anything. Don't try to experience anything.  Don't try to become anything.  Don't try to have the truth of affirmations sink into you and change you.  But, just as important, don’t fight or deny what you’re hearing or saying.    

Just listen. Just be present.   Let's do an example of what not to do:

Example: "I am present, peaceful and full of love for all men"

Reaction 1 - Effort: "Yes, this is so important.  I've got to be present.  And I know it's important to love everyone.  I'm going to do this!  Yes!  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!  Must love!  Now!  Oh My goodness, this is hard.  I can do this!  Wow, I think I'm worn out by this affirmation."

Reaction 2 - Resistance: "What!?  No I'm not.  I'm not present, and it sucks.  In fact, I think it could be impossible.  Why am I even listening to this or saying it?  It's for someone else, who actual is present and peaceful and loving."

Here is an amazing truth:  A new reality will find its way to you as you hold a space for it.    

If you run after it, or try to capture it, or possess it or force it into yourself, it runs away.

A new possibility (an affirmation) is like a deer who walks quietly into a peaceful meadow.  Your affirmation will find its way into you as long as you're not pushing it out by insisting on it's existence.  It exist by itself.  "I am peaceful" for instance, exists already.  Just be present to the possibility.  

An even better comparison is dating and courtship. When you are courting a woman, hopefully you aren’t begging her for acceptance, pawing for love, stalking her, or otherwise insisting her into your life. You are simply present to her, kind to her, inviting, patient, so that soon the acquaintance becomes a relationship and your dream becomes a reality. How? By tracking her down? No, by your consistent, stress-less, loving, attention. Same with affirmations and the actions that your affirmations lead to.

Look at it like this: In a sense nothing good really ever comes from us.  It all comes from God, through us.  This is what I'm saying about affirmations; You can’t make goodness, patience, abundance, marriage etc. exist.  What you can do, as you listen to or say an affirmation, is to simply be present, which makes you like an empty cup, without resistance, ready to be filled.

Your real, self, loving, financially abundant, and confident self is ready to emerge as you hold a space for it - without forcing it, or resisting it, a new possibility will be spiritually born in you.  Through this process a new blueprint is being mapped out in your heart.

With this new blue print comes new enthusiasm, determination and action, which then cements the blueprint.

I hold a place for something (I see possibilities)
I move toward what I see (I take action)
Through my movement (my action), I clarify and confirm who I am

Tip #2) Melt any lingering resistance (“I’m planting a seed”)
Studies have shown that despite the pep talk I gave you above, saying something that is not currently true can put you into a subtle state of confusion and resistance. The non-resistance approach I’ve discussed above helps, but there is a sure-fire method you could add if needed:

Preface your affirmations the Louise Hay phrase, “I’m planting a seed” i.e. “I’m planting a seed. I am 145 pounds of pure, vibrant, health” (even if you are currently 180). This affirms a clear message of possibility and at the same embraces your current reality, resolving conflict or resistance. It’s a very powerful tool in this sense.

Going Forward
When you're sucked into a negative belief or story, return to your vision and your affirmations.  Remember that causing a new belief happens in two ways: 

1) Inside out (through breakthrough and affirmations): being present to, holding space for a new reality without trying to force it into yourself and

2) outside in  (action).

"Action will remove the doubt that theory cannot solve.”   - They Heist

9 Agreements Affirmations

Agreement 6 Homework and Videos


Agreement 4 - Hoping for Nothing

Click here for recordings homework possibilities

Years ago I did a concert in Arizona.  The hosts of the event invited me to spend the night with their family after the concert.  

The next morning  I had breakfast with the family, including an amazingly cute little 4-year-old girl. I was enchanted by her.  She was like a Disney character!  

She got talking about different people and relationships as we ate together -  her Dad, her Brothers, Grandmother.

I think at some level I also wanted to be part of this little princess’s circle, so I began exploring possibilities for our relationship, trying to see, now with our 15-minute history, how I fit in.

I asked her, “so am your neighbor?”  

“No”, she calmly said.

“Am I a relative?” I asked.

Again, very calmly she answered, “no.”

Finally, I asked, “Am I your friend?”

She sort of half looked up at me, in between spoonfuls of oatmeal and then matter of factly said, “No.  You’re nothing to me!”   

When we genuinely give to someone, we are something to this person and perhaps always will be.  Through our selfless love and desire for this person’s happiness, we have given him or her a hope in love.

I hadn't given anything to this little girl.  On the contrary, I was seeking to get something.
I was digging for a relationship, for validation.  I wanted her to say something like, "Well of course John!  You're my new friend!"   

How it worked out with her is how it works out with everyone we seek to get something from.

Jesus said, "Lend (or give) hoping for nothing."  This is the path to what we seek.  For when I genuinely give, I become free from the prison of my own self-absorbed agenda to be noticed, or important, or affirmed.  This is a lonely world, that each of us yearns to be free from.  In sincerely loving and serving someone else, not for me but for this person, I am free from this world.  

This is why Jesus also said that he who will seek his life (he who tries extract love, or validation, or cooperation from those around him) will lose it (will end up like I did with this little girl, like "nothing").  But he who will lose his life in the love and service of others will find it.  

Love is freedom.  Seeking to control or to get something from someone he or she isn't willing, or wanting, or inclined to give, is prison.  

Make every moment a gift to those you love, or even to those you would like to love.
How will this look for you this week?    
Click here for recordings homework possibilities

I Will Stand For You. I Will Stand For Us.

“Now the Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. And He found in the temple those who sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers doing business. When He had made a whip of cords He drove them all out of the temple.”

As Randy Jacobs points out, before cleansing the temple (turning over tables and driving everyone out) the Savior took time to braid the whip.  This was evidence that He wasn't bringing His story into this moment.  He was bringing His commitment.  He was standing for his friends.  He was standing for God.  He was standing for the temple (His house).  He was living in His boundaries.

It is interesting to note, also, that He didn't get much resistance for His demonstration.  As you stand for people’s lives- in most cases, neither will you.  

How do I stand for your life? 

I make a commitment to give you, not what you are asking for, but what you need. 

I have hard conversations with you- conversations about what I'm willing to do, what I'm not willing to do, & what I think would be best for everyone. 

I lovingly show you what's not working for me, and really, what's not working for you either.   

See examples in "Boundaries"

Click here for more on this week's homework (Remember, by doing Mastery Homework you will create time, not lose it).   

Seeing Blue

Re posted 4/19/18

Below is a story about two people choosing two different realities- what I sometimes call "red" and "blue" (distrust/trust).  The crazed gunman experienced the man working in the convenience store as an enemy (though he was not). The man working at the convenience store, even after being shot, experienced the gunman as just temporarily confused.  The gunman chose to see only his own story.  The man working in the store chose to see the possibility of someone, in the end, coming through for the human race.

To live in breakthrough, through meditation, prayer or just a brisk walk,  is to live in trust.  

More on breakthrough here.

Fueling up (your "A-Choice" Routine)

I remember once being very busy, driving to an appointment.  I glanced down at my fuel gauge.  I was almost out of gas!  As crazy as this sounds I remember sort of asking my car, "Why must I always be filling you up?!"   

Interesting.  There is a part of us that truly doesn't get it, that if we don't fuel up we run out of gas.  We almost resent that fact that we must stop so that we can go!

When it comes fueling our core, we need to fuel up every day, just as the children of Israel had to collect their Manna, fresh, again, every morning.  

Click here for more on "A-Choice" Routine  (Scroll down the page, below the purple cylinders)

You were born for amazing

Amazing happens when abundance collides with faith, focus & living life Intentionally

1) Abundance
One of Narelle's favorite Louise Hay Affirmations is: “All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good.”  This is your starting place, not the final destination.

Years ago, I’d been struggling with my self esteem. My friend Dave called me one morning: “John” he said, “I had a dream last night. I was in the premortal life. I was surrounded by the most amazing, wonderful, beings you could imagine- truly great and noble people. John, you were one of them.” He went on. "John, you can't build on failure.  You can only build on success." What was he saying? If my conclusion is that whatever I’ve done, or whatever I’ve got, or whoever I am isn’t enough, that’s not very encouraging! THAT isn’t going to send me running toward the victory.  

What Dave was talking about was the principle of abundance- meaning to celebrate what IS, not what could be or should have been. Let’s put it in another way; It’s possible that there is a celebration in heaven that occurs every morning, just because you and I open our eyes and get out of bed! That’s what Dave was saying!- that you and I are beautiful and wonderful as is and that life is amazing and full of opportunity as is! Now THAT is something I can build on! THIS kind of abundant thinking turns out to be the fuel that wins the race.

With this as your starting place- a gentle but firm sense of having and being enough, (weaknesses and all), with an underlying celebration of this amazing opportunity called earth, we will feel the encouragement and energy necessary to create more of what we already feel. Want (or desperation) attracts more want. Not good enough attracts more not good enough, but celebration and gratitude attracts more to celebrate and be grateful for.

2) Faith, Focus and Living Life Intentionally
Let’s break it down:

  • Return to your vision(s), daily.

  • Keep your energy up by managing your life from your lists,

  • Break goals down into small, bite sized actions.

  • Park planned actions in appropriate lists.

  • Make decisions vs. gathering clutter

  • Consistently return to and act on your action lists. .

  • Be satisfied and trusting with one thing at a time.

  • Finally, get into high leverage action and put first things first. .

    Click here for the full story on Faith, Focus & Living Life Intentionally

Click here for everything related to Agreement 1

You Were Born for Amazing!

Mastery Habits

This week's homework is huge!
Click here for Mastery Habits in your workbook. 

Fail safe - Remember that the Mastery Habits provide support for your personal habits and that your personal habits are what support your vision. What you want is a fail safe trajectory (a process of insuring your success), where one supports the other. This is the reason for the Mastery Habits i.e. “A-Choice Routine”, Exercise, Attending Meetings, Mastery Journal etc.

Determine what level you're doing our Mastery Habits at and your "Skin in the Game" for these habits.  This process culminates at the page that says "Mastery Habits Summary." 
This is your Mastery map for the next 11 weeks.  We're excited for you! 

Click here for all other videos and other Mastery action.
Password is in your workbook.

Please feel free to text us if you have any questions about Mastery.  Please do a group text to 801 613 8354 and 801 548 8212 (John and Narelle).