9 AGREEMENTS - overview

Agreement 1) Live Life Intentionally
I make A-Choices- choices that lead to what I actually want. I live in faith & focus.

Agreement 2) Unconditional Trust
I trust in positive possibilities. I trust that there could be love between us.

Agreement 3) Boundaries  
I am committed to this working for both of us.  I’m willing to guide you to this possibility.

Agreement 4) Give Love vs. Control
I am here to serve you- not control you.  I live in the “Centering Questions.”

Agreement 5) Heal the Real Wounds
I am willing to be present to where it hurts & to develop solutions.

Agreement 6) Show up as Your Real and Best Self  
I am willing to show up in my excellence & to stop testing you to see if you’ll love me in my compromise.

Agreement 7) Assist Others in Showing Up as Their Real and Best Selves  
I water the flowers, not the weeds. I speak to the possibilities, not the disappointments.  

Agreement 8) Choose the Path of Greatest Opportunity
I will point my gratitude, my willingness and my nothingness into the hard part of the journey.

Agreement 9) I Cause My World
I always have. It’s always been me. There is nothing to fear, out there.  It’s all in here.

9 Agreements - what life will look like

Agreement 1) Live Life Intentionally
I make A-Choices- choices that lead to what I actually want. I live in faith & focus.

In the past perhaps you have felt to some degree that life just happens- that things just happen, and that they happen to you- like I sometimes still say, "My heavens, life is just coming at me so fast!" 

From now on, though, you will open your arms as wide as you can, and get them as far as you can around this one, big, beautiful reality: you are the one driving! You’re not a passenger. You’re actually driving the car. You are causing your world!

Knowing this, you have two choices; "A" choices or "B" choices. 

Your "A" choices are choices the real you to what you really wants.  Your "B" choices are distractions from the "A" choices- the fillers to keep the pain of unfulfillment stuffed down a little deeper.  But from now on, you will make only one kind of choice, in every moment, in every matter, with every relationship (whether you're single or married)- You'll make "A" choices. And if you do make a "B" choice you will be thankful for noticing that it didn't feel all that good, all the way through, and you will start again on your "A" choice path.

What a glorious life this will be! For "A" choices, in themselves, are their own reward!  Living in the "A" choice zone feels so good- not just because "A" choices lead to what you truly want, but because of the real and glorious child of God you begin to reveal and to become.


Agreement 2) Unconditional Trust

I trust in positive possibilities. I trust that there could be love between us.

In the past, maybe you've been unwilling to see consider the love that is possible between you and others. This has created a brittle world- one where you are either too defensive to consider possibilities, or, so lonely from living inside your walls and fences that you become prone to irrationally leap before you look.

From now on, that's going to be different. From now on, if your single, you are willing to trust that down deep, people are for you, not against you. This inner trust will cause a calm in you. This calm will keep you will cause prudence, pacing, discernment. You're going to circle around the pool a few times before diving in. 

If you're married, now that you are coming from trust vs. distrust, it will be so much easier for you to work through issues with your spouse. Moreover, through a lens of unconditional trust, you will tend to see and love your spouse for who he or she really is rather than seeing him or her as the source of your problems.  

More so, you're going to look at whatever challenges you and your spouse are facing through the eyes of hope and not the eyes of reactivity or the eyes of your "life story."  Your hope will come from one amazing underlying conviction: The universe is for you- not against you, and so are your loved ones, friends, and family.  It may not seem like it and they may be struggling to come through for now.  But it's in there.  This is what you will begin to see. This will be your operating reality.


Agreement 3) Boundaries
I am committed to this working for both of us.  I’m willing to guide you to this possibility.

In the past, you've done well at being nice- enduring- going along with things. You may have been uneasy about how something was going, how someone was treating you- about the level of their commitment. It could have been your spouse, or a boyfriend, the kids, or even a business relationship.

At times, something just wasn't settling well.  In the past you've swallowed some pretty big pills to get the love you felt you need.  You've been patient, nice, sweet and endured what you probably should not have endured, with a smile on your face (sort of).  Because what's important is doing whatever it takes to get the love you need- even if it meant selling your soul.  But that's all in the past. 

From now on, you are willing to love your neighbor as yourself.  You lovingly let family and friends know what could work for you, what doesn't work for you (what you're not feeling good about).  You are willing, through these kinds of personal boundaries, to build bridges of love and possibilities between you and your loved ones, not walls of control or fits.

From now on, you're going to notice when something isn't feeling good and you're going to ask yourself what you'd be willing to do for it to feel good. This is called getting centered- not self-centered, but self-confident, self-determined and self-respectful.  There's a big difference and that's how it's going to be for you, from now on.


Agreement 4) Love vs. Control
I am here to serve you- not control you.  I live in the “Centering Questions.”

In the past, to some degree, maybe you've been controlling, either overtly or covertly i.e withholding, pouting, whining or manipulative. In the past, it's been about trying to get your way- trying to get others to do what you think they should be doing, trying to get others to cooperate with your plan for their life, trying to get others to do and say whatever  is necessary for you to feel secure. 

In the past, you've asked for things from people that they aren't feeling good about doing or giving.  And when someone hasn't cooperated with your will, in one way or another, you've had a little fit, or gone to war, or checked out, or got controlling.   

None of this hasn't been working out very well.

From now on, you're going to be breathing easier, because you're letting go of controlling others. . 
From now on, everything you say and do will be a gift.  And sometimes what you'll be giving is your personal boundaries- your willingness to guide your loved ones into something that works for you too.


Agreement 5) Heal the Real Wounds
I am willing to be present to where it hurts & to develop solutions.

In the past, to some degree maybe, you haven't wanted to look at what's really bugging you, or hurting inside, or what all the restlessness is about, or unhappiness or depression. So instead, to some degree you've distracted yourself with TV, or food, shopping or even more; with your story- your continual story of all that has happened to you, of all the mishap and misery life has filled your plate with and with all the blame for everything and everyone around you that seemed an easy enough target.  And in all of this, you've kept yourself from finding out what's really hurting and kept the stories coming, the DVDs, pizzas, the shopping sprees, and the blame. But none of it seems to work (especially the blame) and you're still not happy. But from now on, you're going to take a little time to see what's out of balance, and to address it. From now on instead of barking at the moon, or chasing cars, you're going to heal the real wounds and you're going to be feeling much better.


Agreement 6) Show up as Your Real & Best Self (also known as the “Mahana” agreement)
I am willing to show up in my excellence & to stop testing you to see if you’ll love me in my compromise.

In the past you've tested people, to see if they would love you for who you really are, without having to do any "tricks" for them, like the beauty trick or the financial stability "trick" or the just being nice trick. You've decided that all that is superficial, and that if someone really loved you, you could show up for them in an unattractive way, or a financially devastate way, or a mean way, or distant way, but that if they loved you, and if you were worth any love at all in this world, that they would find a way to the REAL you and love you for who you really are! But in the future, you're going to end that test, and instead of testing other people's love for you, you're going to love them first, by showing up- not as your testing self- not as a shadow of you, or part of you- but as the whole, glorious, beautiful, intimate, honest, financially solid, spiritual self that God made you to be (a child of God).  What a wonderful gift you really are to everyone around you, especially your boyfriend or girlfriends, or if you're married, your spouse. So in the past, you've spent some time as we call it in the workshop, up in Mahana's tree waiting for Johnny Lingo to come and love you as you are. But from now on, you're going to come DOWN from the tree and show up for all the world as you REALLY are.


Agreement 7) Assist Loved Ones in Showing Up (also known as the “Johnny Lingo” agreement)
I water the flowers, not the weeds. I speak to the possibilities, not the disappointments.  

In the past, you've watered the weeds and wondered why the flowers aren't growing. You've paid attention to the shortcomings of the ones you've loved, and not reflected to them who they really are. You've reflected their compromising, shadow, what we call "Mahana" selves to them and not the glorious, powerful, loving and beautiful people they really are. But from now on you will address only a person's real self. It is their real self that they will see reflected in your eyes. It is in knowing you that they will come to see and know and fully become who they really are. It is through you, what we call a "Johnny Lingo" to the whole world, that they will have the courage to come down from THEIR tree. 


Agreement 8) Choose the Path of Greatest Opportunity
I will point my gratitude, my willingness and my nothingness into the hard part of the journey.

In the past maybe you've taken the road of least resistance. But look where that's gotten you. But from now on, you will choose whatever road seems to hold the most possibility, in the long run, for you and for everyone else you love. From now on you're willing to pass through something difficult because down to your toes, you know, what's on the other side. So if that means being single a little longer instead of jumping into a relationship too soon, or if it means continuing to serve a man or woman you're married to, just to see if he will come around, whatever road seems right, that's the road you're on.


Agreement 9) I Cause My World
I always have. It’s always been me. There is nothing to fear, out there.  It’s all in here.

In the past, you've been protecting yourself from ever being hurt ever again.  So you've done the "I'm happy!" thing (where you put a smile on your face and tell the world around you and yourself that everything is just "fine" [which according to Mel Robbins is that one "F" word you should never use]). 

Don't misunderstand: The essence of consciousness is to be happy with everything just as it is! - happy with your friends, your grand kids, your, current job, your life and your routine etc.

The magic that is waiting for you starts in Agreement 1: Live Life Intentionally; be happy and grateful with everything just as it while at the same time, completely open and encouraging to what could be. 

Agreement 1 is completed, finally in Agreement 9 "I Cause My World."  It's not just that you're open to what could be, it's that you're fully and completely aware of what has been.  You now see your part, completely, of everything that has happened, or not happened in your life. This awareness, self-forgiveness and trust in the grace of Christ (who covers every track you are willing face) is opening your heart! 

So from now on you are completely open to everything and anything that could be lovely or praiseworthy or that could fill your heart and life even more!  Because you have thrown off the shackles of blame and see yourself as the cause of your world, you are leaving your victim story behind and running into this world with your arms open.  It is you that has caused your past. It is you that, with the grace of God, cause your future. 

You see now that nothing happened to you- that really, in the final analysis, everything happens from you.  And knowing this is going to keep your heart open- so open, and so beautiful, that if at any point you go into the next life, it will be with the same spirit you leave this one- an open spirit and an open heart.  

So whether you're married or single isn't even the big question or difference.  Because from now on, you live with no expectations.  But you do live in hope and with a fearless heart.

So, if you're single, from now on you are open to possibilities.  

And if you're married, from now on your harbor is open, and the wind feels right - just right for a much better marriage to sail into your life (not with a new spouse, but with a new heart).  

CouplesThe STRM weekend workshop is a powerful introduction to a whole new picture of your marriage - a picture you're going to love!   

SinglesThis workshop has been a major breakthrough, especially for divorced singles, and can be a powerful future "disaster insurance."  Spend some time with us, and we promise you will begin to attract significantly different kinds of relationships!

It was an honor for me to introduce you to my dear friend, John Canaan and his creative assembly of some very, very old (as in ancient) stuff, sandwiched in with his musical/magical/spiritual gifts. I get so blown away when I see friends let go of the past, and experience the new freedoms that come from sending the message of who they truly are, all sorts of unexpected and wonderful things happen. You probably saw me grinning through much of the workshop. I was anticipating what’s going to happen in everyone’s lives in the very near future. You can’t explain it and neither can I. It’s a miracle. And you saw it right before your very eyes.
— Lynn Koberna, S.T.R.M. Organizer (Dallas)
I have read hundreds of books on relationships and attended countless workshops. Nothing has touched my heart so deeply, or affected my relationships so completely as John Canaan’s, Sending The Right Message.
— Kathy Cazier