1) Treasure Map - Habit Tracking can be effective in achieving your dreams- for two reasons:

One - Your Habit Tracker creates a Treasure Map (or flight plan), leading to your goals and dreams. Starting each day with a look at important daily actions increases your likelihood of turning these actions into habits.

2) Knowing the Score
Sean Covey, in his book “The 4 Disciplines” makes the point that excellence and consistency is slow to kick in until there’s a scoreboard (Consider the last game you played before you started keeping score).

As humans, we need tools to quickly show us if we are winning or losing in our game against ourselves. Otherwise we are low in motivation. Paying close attention to what we are actually doing is a principle dimension and benefit of Habit Tracking.

3) Don’t underestimate the naturally motivating power of checking something off. The moment you check something off, it disappears from the front of your attention, leaving more room and energy for what’s next. Plus, it’s just a fun way of giving yourself a pat on the back, like saying “done!” out-loud.

Ultimately, know one really knows why checking things off appeals to so many of us (not everyone by the way). But it does. It’s kind of magical.

4) Be Conscious vs. Self Condemning - There is a huge difference between condemning yourself for poor performance (which actually weakens your momentum) and simply noting the difference between what you value and what you actually did (without judgement). I call this process “consciousness”, meaning, just notice!

Yes, of course it hurts not to be traveling toward the place you want to get. But, NO it doesn’t mean you’re awful!! Noticing, without judging creates a miraculous amount of consistent, forward movement.

New Years Eve, Thanks Giving dinner, Christmas morning, date nights, family prayer, pop corn with movies, work out rituals, spiritual rituals, family rituals like making animal pancakes for the kids- all the wonderful things in life result from rituals and habits (especially couples rituals).

Why is this? One word: momentum.

Momentum harnesses and builds on it’s own power- without anything else- no gasoline, no batteries, no wind- just itself. “Objects in motions tend to stay in motion” (as Newton suggested). This is the power inside rituals and habits. Your success depends almost entirely on your willingness to create habits. It’s your habits that creates the momentum necessary to fuel your journey.

Habits create momentum and it is the momentum that sustains our habits. Every action leading to your goals depends almost entirely on your willingness to create habits and harvest this power of momentum.

Andy Pudicome (“Headspace”) and David Allen (“Getting Things Done”) point out that the more you can turn key actions into unwavering habits, the more present, creative and disciplined you will tend to be.

Success Auto-Pilot
Plan your habit actions as close to a routine as possible. If you’re having to think about what you need to do next you won’t be as present.

Through the use of triggers and habit stacks you can move through high leverage actions, sort of on auto pilot, which calms your mind and increases inspiration and creativity throughout each day.

Stacking, tracking & Consciousness - Increasing the steadiness of your journey often requires stacking and tracking.

The secret in deciding is self-honesty. If the important daily and weekly actions leading to your life visions are already a habit, you don’t need to stack or track.

If not, set up your daily flight plan (your habits) and honestly face your life on a daily basis (Meaning, notice what you value compared to what you actually did).

Perhaps the most powerful element of habit tracking (made possible by check marks) is “streaks.”

Jerry Seinfeld once said that if you want to be a great stand up comic, write a joke every day and don’t break the streak.” Habit Trackers support you in your commitment to not breaking your streaks.

To fully understand and harness the power of habits in your personal life and in your marriage, read “Atomic Habits” by James Clear.

Skin in the game & Self Resoration

Paying attention to “Streaks” is a powerful process even if you are not “multiplying your motivation” (as discussed above). Last but not least in motivation is what I call “Skin in the game” (also known as Self Restitution)

One option for “Skin” could be something positive but not something you would normally do i.e. “If I do not complete my top 3 “skinned” habits at least 5 times this week, I will visit a rest home, listen to stories, give hugs etc. for 30+ minutes.”

Self-Restoration

A more natural form “skin in the game” is a make up approach (also known as Self-Restitution) i.e. If I don’t exercise at least 20 minutes on today, I will exercise 40 minutes tomorrow etc.

Sometimes your word is all the skin you need to motivate yourself.

When it comes to skin in the game, do whatever works best for you. Everyone is different in this realm. Pay attention to what will actually work for you.

More examples:

___ minute back rub, foot rub or hand rub for spouse.

Making your spouse or kids their favorite meal or treat.

Watching the kind of movie your spouse wants to watch with him or her. (Note: You could combine a foot rub with this, as long as you’re not in a theater).

30 minute “Personal Spiritual Retreat” in the mountains (or desert, or even just a huge park) praying, meditating, scriptures etc.

Donation to your favorite charity etc.

Take a sibling or parent to lunch (on you) if this kind of lunch is a very rare event.

1) All Habits in One Place - Whatever you end up using (even if it’s just a piece of paper) we strongly recommend having all your habits in one place (marriage, family, business, and personal habits).

2) Use abbreviated versions of habit/actions so you can see where you’re at a glance i.e. “Plan day, including at least 20 minutes working through my project lists” could simply be “Plan/Lists 20+.” You can also use emojis for some apps.

3) If you’re using your phone and/or desktop, create a favorite place on your home-screen for you habit tracker. Being able to get to your tracker, quickly, effortlessly a couple of times a day is an amazing way to keep yourself focused and on track. Remember, success in life’s visions isn’t destined for the talented, popular or beautiful. It is available simply to those who stay on the path leading to what they want. Your tracker can be a simple yet miraculous tool in your journey.

The point of habit tracking is to increase your focus on repeating actions that support your projects and life goals, with a special attention to creating streaks, but…

4) Don’t get upside down! - As James Clear points out, when checking a box or paying yourself for a streak becomes as (or even more) important than what you’re tracking, tracking will cease to be effective. Keep yourself emotionally and spiritually rooted in what this tracking is about. It’s about consciousness to your greatest treasures. It’s about forcing yourself to notice (not judge), the difference between what you treasure and what you’re actually doing. Noticing is a miraculous influence in waking us from our sleep.

5) At what point should you stop tracking a habit or reviewing Habit Stack Affirmations?

When it’s a habit.

Actors are the most inspiring people in the world to me, because a good actor isn’t playing a part- He’s is choosing a reality. It’s incredible to me! They just go there- whatever the part is. Interestingly, their choice to experience a specific reality doesn’t happen independent of words, but rather, is intertwined with words.

When God said , for instance, “Let there be light”, this affirmative statement wasn’t separate from the light. It was the light (and visa versa- the light was the word he spoke).

The same is true with affirmations, and I would say, especially with relationship affirmations i.e. “When I come home from work, I find my wife, wherever she is, and give her a hug and a kiss.” It’s not that I’m forcing myself into something that’s not true. It’s that I’m opening I’m opening a window, with my words to what is true.