In my mind, All For One & One For All (The Law of Good Neighbors), is a self evident truth.
Based on this, if one person’s actions disturbs another person or group of people (materially or emotionally), and if a reasonable possibility exists to satisfy the underlying needs and desires of each party or groups, then agreements and laws ought to emerge for that purpose.
Examples
If a person who hunts an endangered species to provide food for his family is going to upset those who are concerned about this species, a law should exist that would consider the needs and/or desires of each party. For instance, the hunting could be restricted to rabbits, deer etc, not pandas.
Walking around naked seems freeing to one person but makes others uncomfortable, so a law has emerged allowing nudity in some places but not others. Everyone’s happy! Everyone wins with good laws.
A person with a loud motorcycle drives through my neighborhood and disrupts my peace and quiet which is emotionally disturbing (the motorcycle being is so loud that one cannot hear his own voice). Perhaps, as with the person who wants to run free and naked, there could be designated highways or areas for loud vehicles.
A person who does not want to wear a mask in public places is putting others a risk, particularly older people. A law could exist that decreed “no mask” zones (i.e. parks) and “mask zones” (i.e. stores).
Looking for the Similarities vs. the Differences = Wisdom & Compassion
Historically, many used to feel black lives did not matter as much as white lives and owned black people as slaves. This not only put black people in a bad situation but made half of our country emotionally uncomfortable, thus, the emancipation proclamation (a law) emerged.
It’s important to note that freeing slaves was a tough financial transition for those that owned them. Still, freeing the slaves was the most reasonable solution we could come up with, but based on the civil war, even our best efforts don’t always work out.
Even today it’s vital that new laws continue to be made to avert racial injustice.
Finally we come to an issue that doesn’t have such clear edges as racial injustice, nudity and endangered species- pro-choice vs. pro-life.
A woman gets pregnant, but doesn’t feel willing to give birth. Is there a way to fully take care of her needs, while at the same time protect what some would consider to be an in danger species?
In this final example (pro-choice vs. pro-life), it’s easy to make this issue about whether or not the woman is in possession of another living being, inside of her. In light of the law of good neighbors, this question eludes the heart of the conflict. She could be carrying an outer space alien, or a dolphin, or a rare endangered form of a banana. Her perspective that whatever it is, only she has the right to determine it’s future is emotionally disturbing to a good portion of our country- not to mention the perhaps unperceivable will to live within the fetus.
As you continue to read this, I hope what is emerging is not an argument for pro-life. It is an argument for pro-neighbors.
Why Pro-Choice is more of a symptom than an issue for me:
When one person’s rights or comfort or feelings becomes more important than anothers- when we lose our passion to take care of each other through the most effective win-win laws we can muster, we are disconnecting from the most satisfying part of our existence; our instinct to be loving neighbors.
In this light, for me, leaving a fetus's fate solely in the hands of the woman carrying it is not as much of a problem in and of itself as it is a marker for a downward spiral in human consciousness (consciousness being defined as a state of being awake and aware of one's surroundings).
Pro-choice seems to point to our loss of commitment to create something that 100% considers everyone involved.
There are striking parallels that deserve our attention
A republican woman will say, “No one can tell me whether I should wear a mask. That’s my decision.” A woman with an unwanted pregnancy will say, “Having this baby (or not) is my decision. No one can tell me whether to deliver or not.” A man who refuses to put a muffler on his motorcycle or car could say “I have a right to do what I want with my vehicles. If you don’t like it, move out into the desert.”
All of these situations involve the future of and the emotional state of not only the people directly involved, but of the entirety of our nation-wide neighbors.
Our rise to consciousness and commitment to each other
It’s easy to categorize and prioritize the examples discussed in this blog in a way that suits your values, but seeing the similarity in these examples, vs. the differences will assist us in evolving into the kind of people that can and are willing to create win-win solutions, vs. the steady flow of accusation and condemnation of our current culture.
Being at Cross Purposes = Being Human
When one person’s action involves substantial consequences, either materially or psychologically for another, if at all reasonably possible, laws should provide win-win solutions.
My question is, as neighbors, how committed are we?- how able to listen to each other are we?- how patient are we in the process of doing our very, very best to come up with win-win solutions?
Some struggle with people running around naked in public places.
Some struggle with extreme loud noises in their neighborhoods.
Some used to struggle with smoke in a restaurant.
Some struggle with someone risking the spread of a virus because of no mask.
Some struggle with someone providing their families food with Panda meat.
Most of us struggle with racial injustice.
Most of us struggle with negligent treatment of children.
Finally, many of us struggle with the idea of a pregnant woman seeing herself as the sole decision maker for her unborn fetus.
Pro Rights & Pro Win-Win
In this sense, I wouldn’t say I’m pro-life, nor would I say that those that are pro-choice are “baby killers.” That kind of talk seems crazy to me. In fact, because of Nicole, I have been blessed with much deeper understanding of the horrible predicament of a woman with an unwanted pregnancy.
I describe myself as “pro-rights”- rights of the panda, rights of the hungry man tempted to shoot the panda, rights of the driver of the loud motorcycle, rights of the poor old guy sitting on his porch, falling off his rocking chair in consequence of the 1 million decibels passing him by, rights of those who don’t want to be exposed to covid at Costco, rights of the black person who wants to feel free to walk around and enjoy his liberty without have to look over his shoulder, and finally, rights of the unborn fetus who’s future deserves more than one person’s decision.
My Dad, (Grandpa Jack), was very liberal. He was the president of the Democratic party in San Diego. He represented Democratic presidential candidates through several elections. He marched in Washington for civil rights etc.
About 40 years ago, Dad told me about a visit from his friend, Vince Wayland. During their visit, Vince said something that kind of startled Dad- something like, “Jack, if anyone should join our movement (Pro-Life), it should be you. As a democrat you have always fought for the rights of the oppressed- those who can’t fight for their own rights. Pro-Life is the crescendo of equal rights!”
My Dad told me this I think because even though he never changed his mind on the issue, it was like Vince’s statement loomed in the back of his mind all those years. It looms in mine.
Our mission, should we accept it, is to carefully work though social issues toward win-win solutions- starting with what continues to be the the most divisive- racial injustice and even more, for me, the future of unborn fetuses.
Most of us want the same things down deep; connection, health, productivity and in current issues we have the same desire to do the right thing by each other (i.e. my Dad, and on the other side, his friend Vince). Down deep, we actually want to develop solutions that consider everyone (black, white, poor, rich, born, unborn, those for pro-choice, those for pro-life).
Again, the question remains, will we choose the wisdom, care, empathy and patience required to create win-win solutions?
My prayer is that God rescues us from our positions and delivers us to conversation, compassion and commitment to each other’s needs and concerns.
Rather than seeing signs like “My Body, My Choice” or, on the other side, “Stop Killing Babies”, I would LOVE to see are signs that say, “We can work it out.”