Getting uncomfortable

During a recent and very difficult breakthrough and consciousness training I attended, there were a couple of moments where what we were working on was so difficult I wanted to blow off the whole training and go buy some apple fritters.  I just couldn’t seem to get the exercises. It all felt awkward and uncomfortable! 

But often, a good sign that you’re heading in the right direction is not that you feel comfortable, but that you feel UNcomfortable.  

It would have been very comfortable for me to skip the training I mentioned above. It’s comfortable to not take risks or learn new skills. And sometimes, It’s comfortable watching others accomplish hard goals and even applauding their victories rather than creating your own. It’s comfortable being less than we are designed to be!

Andy Puddicombe (headspace.com) reminds us that our first run with consciousness and meditation (a big part of any life mastery course) can feel awkward, just like the first time you drove a car.  Think about it! Now, you just get in the car and go!

Give yourself time.  Soon enough, principles of success and life mastery, including even things like meditation and breakthrough work, will all feel very natural.

As with the Karate Kid, it is mastering “wax on / wax off” kinds of basics that propels you to personal and professional victories, as uncomfortable as they might sometimes be. Waxing a lot full of cars got uncomfortable for the Karate Kid, even painful - so did all the sanding and painting. But winning the Karate championship was glorious! So victory also awaits you! - whether it be in your relationships, your business or your health.

What we saying?  The road to what you want can include long open stretches of what you don’t want. Perfect! Stay on the road. Let us be there for you. We’re in this together!!

Love, John & Narelle

For current Mastery participants, click here for more

Rinse and repeat

Lately, with all the rainstorms and heavy winds up where I live, my car seems continually prone to looking a little dirty, and not up to his usual beaming self.  

What's worse is taking it through the car wash seems to be a signal to the heavens to make sure it rains that night.  

Without noticing it as it happens, our thinking and feelings get hit with some storms too and before we know it we're a mess.  Time to run our self through the wash.

What are the options?

Sometimes we need to pay the extra money for a super wash, with all the bells and whistles i.e. Learning to walk on fire with Tony Robbins, a trip to India to visit one of your favorite yogi masters, a 10 day fast, or the “Sending the Right Message” 2-day Breakthrough workshop with the Canaans! etc.  All this is wonderful.

But I believe there is something much more important than even these often life changing events; it is called “daily.”

I have this little blue microfiber cloth I keep in my car.   As I pulled up to my coaching office, I noticed my car was looking weather worn again.  I was about 30 minutes early before my client would arrive.  I put some water on my micro fiber and started washing, beginning at the windshield..  I went for a few minutes and then walked into my office, completely rinsed out the rag and then went back to the car.  My car didn't look much better at first, but trip after trip to the sink (about a 20 minute process), with just one little rag, I couldn't believe it - In side and out it looked like my little Subaru had spent some time at the detailer!

What occurred to me is that the big results we want occur in consequence of repeated, consistent steps- that the single mindedness and peace we long for, doesn't usually happen in a moment, or at a workshop, or in India or even at a church meeting. These kinds of resources are huge.  I recently attended an advanced consciousness training.  I go to 3 hours of church every Sunday.  I believe in big resources.  What I'm saying is that what we need, especially spiritually, we need daily, and if we will "rinse and repeat", layer by layer, breakthrough by breakthrough, grace by grace, God will be able to get us looking, on the inside, like my Subaru ended up looking on the outside.

I don't think there is a better image of our need for daily rinsing than the image of the children of Israel and Manna.

If you are part of our Mastery group, click here for more.

Let there be light

In our anger, judgement, projections and blame, as humans, we can inadvertently lead each other to believe something that is not true - that we are less than beautiful. 

Telling someone the truth about who he or she is (even when they initially resist it) is to liberate this person. It is to say “You are beautiful.  You are powerful.  You are  gifted.  You are needed!”  Hearing these kinds of words, when sincerely spoken, stirs a person's sense of potential.  It's kindling for a fire. 

What’s so fascinating about being Johnny Lingo- what it is so compelling about shining this light into the world is that it’s not just fluffing someone - it’s actually true!  How could this be? How could the lowly maid and prostitute, Aldonza suddenly become Dulcinea?  How could this young student (in the movie “Freedom Writers”) who thought so little of himself, suddenly experience his own potential- his own greatness?

The answer is, someone was willing to say the truth.  Not that it wasn’t true before, but that it was static.  In a sense, this is how something is brought into existence - someone sees something, before it appears, and perhaps even more important, someone actually says it-  “And God said Let there be light and there was light.”  Perhaps the light was there all along. Perhaps God was simply freeing the light- unleashing it.  I’m not really sure. But I do know this; that by the Almighty’s words, light came into existence.  

So it is with people’s beauty and power, potential and greatness.  Our words to each other tend to create, what was up to that point, unseen.   

So when I look at you and see you and speak the truth about you, even if it’s just something like “Good morning Norma.  You look beautiful today!”, Is that true?  Norma is 87. She’s been sick most of her life. She’s coming out of a deep depression related to several deaths in her family.  She could barely drag herself into her closet this morning to pick out a dress for church, and yet here you are telling her that she looks beautiful!? Is it true? Of course it’s true!  

We are shining, beautiful children of the living God!  We are His offspring, literally. His spiritual DNA runs through us!

Like a little flower struggling to break through the crust of the earth, everything that God is, is desperately seeking to break through the crust of doubts and limits we live in.   The only thing that’s missing sometimes is you!  The only thing that’s missing is for you, Johnny Lingo, to show up in someone’s life with the good news about who they really are.

Here’s the kicker.  It’s pretty easy to do this with people at church, at work, even on the streets.  But where it means the most is where you have felt the most frustration or hurt;  i.e. spouse, children, parents.  Despite everything, you are the person who knows them best.  “If  you can see it” they say to themselves, “then I can see it.”

And so they can.  And so they will. And here’s the best part.  What does it take for you to look past your own hurt and see the beauty and potential in your spouse or in someone else who has been a trial for you?  It takes your greatness.  It takes your forgiveness, your discernment, your spiritual connection with your Father in Heaven.  It takes the best in you. So it is that “it is the greatest part of me that sees the greatest part of you.”  (from Agreement 7).

Johnny Lingo, you see the miracle in others? You are the miracle.

Where It Might Hurt the Most

Where It Might Hurt the Most, or What do Zombies Have to do With Agreement 5?

We all feel a certain amount of pain, seemingly all the time.  Agreement 5 (Heal the Real Wounds) says: Pay attention to where it hurts for you, personally.

In this, consider the possibility of a hierarchy of pain.

Earth Pain

At the bottom is our basic human experience is what I call “Earth Pain.”  It just hurts to be here on earth. Neil Maxwell said that we are a timeless people caught temporarily in time.  “Clearly, time is not our natural habitat.” Disconnected from our previous infinite perspective, to some degree, we feel a lost and alone just being here.

Abused and Betrayed

On top of this, to one degree or another, we are born into and perpetuate a trans-generational wave of dysfunction, shame, anger and abuse.  For many, the karmic river of opportunity flows deep. Millions suffer each day with very painful life experiences. More or less, most of us understand where it hurts when it comes to feeling abused, abandoned or betrayed by someone.

Self Betrayed

With the first two dimensions of pain, there isn’t too much we can do about the incoming.  We are here on earth. We are born into dysfunction. We can and should feel the pain, give as much as we can to God and develop therapeutic possibilities for healing.   

The third dimension of pain is the most important because it is the dimension we actually have control of; self betrayal

There are obvious ways we betray ourselves- negative self talk, dishonesty, abusing others, abusing ourselves, acting out of integrity, the list goes on.  Perhaps the place it hurts the most, is the least obvious:

It hurts when we betray our basic nature to love and to serve.  We are designed to touch others. We are designed to lift others, and when we don’t it really hurts.  

It is a lonely place, a life sentence of unhappiness.  

There is only one way to free ourselves from this kind of isolation.  The world around us, the people that God brings into our path, has to move from theory to reality.   Your family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, everyone, must become a chance for you to serve and to touch someone else.  For as I reach out to touch your life, I am freed from prison.

In the movie, “I Am Legend”, Will Smith survived a zombie apocalypse.  He and his dog, for a while, seem to be the only one’s still left (at least in his area).   Every few days he goes to a video store. He has set up some manikins there to make it seem like there are other people.  At one point, in tears, he pleads with one of the manikins, “Please say hello to me. Please.” But the manikin isn’t real, she cannot talk to him.  What is perhaps even more said, is that she cannot hear him. If he were to reach out to her, she could not feel his touch. He cannot affect her for good.  He cannot touch, or heal or inspire her life, because she is not real.

This is what is perhaps so lonely for Will.  The world is spinning by without him. He is not part of anything because he cannot serve anyone.  Then, suddenly, another real human being appears. His spirits are lifted. They embark on a project together to find a zombie vaccine and ultimately Will gives his own life to save humanity.  That’s how much we need to serve. This is how much meaning service has to our eternal souls, that if it means to lose our own life, en route to completely and permanently touching someone else, it is a price we are willing to pay.

Where it hurts the most is where it is easiest to get lost.   We are, as the Savior said, designed to lose our lives in the service of others.   We are designed to feel fully alive as we fully give and serve.

What if I Loved You

James Faust recounts the moving story of retired army Rick Rescorla, who on Sept. 11th, 2001 assisted in evacuating  3,700 employees from the  World Trade Center.  Using his bullhorn, he moved up the floors, working through a bottleneck on the 44th and going as high as the 72nd, helping to evacuate the people from each floor. One friend who saw Rick reassuring people in the 10th-floor stairwell told him, "Rick, you’ve got to get out, too."  "As soon as I make sure everyone else is out," he replied.

His wife had watched the United Airlines jet go through his tower. After a while, her phone rang. It was Rick.

"I don’t want you to cry," he said. "I have to evacuate my people now."

She kept sobbing.

"If something happens to me, I want you to know that you made my life."

I’ve always been fascinated by this story-  not only by the heroism of this man, but by his tender, final expression of unbridled love and gratitude for his wife.

What fascinates me is that it might have been only then, with all other considerations, disappointments and fears now swept away, that he became fully in touch with his love.  It was perhaps in that final moment that Rick knew, finally, the indescribable depth of feelings he had held inside.

I think to some degree we all hold it inside.  

There is that amazing moment at the end of the movie “The Diary of Anne Frank” that gives us this same sudden and glorious moment, springing forth from the fear that held it captive.

Throughout the movie Anne engages in flirtatious and playful bantering with a young man, also in hiding at the same residence.  Their feelings are growing but their communication is guarded.

As the Nazis, who have finally discovered her family’s hiding place begin to break down the door, Anne and the young man, move instantly into each other’s arms to embrace and to kiss.  It is an explosion of the most tender and beautiful feelings possible on earth.

Perhaps Rick, perhaps Anne, perhaps you and I cannot know all that we truly feel until it is too late.   

I hope not.  

What holds us from this hidden ocean inside of us?   

Our fear of disappointment- our abiding fear of losing something so precious.  But this is what’s so crazy about it all. If we do not venture into the possibility of love- if we do not allow our souls to drift magically into our attachment to another, then we have lost already. 

What a paradox.  On one hand I want to fully love.  I do not want my fear of loss or disappointment to protect me from all I could feel.  On the other hand I would rather be safe than in love.

I believe the solution requires a quantum leap.  Here is the leap: Is it possible to lose love- to lose what is this infinite and this glorious?  

Don’t answer with your mind. Just let the question sit inside of you for a moment.  

It is not possible. I’m not sure how.  I just know this is true.

If I love you, I love you forever.  It is as if I’ve always loved you. How can it be any other way? Relationships may change, but that which is beautiful and glorious in our experience of each other cannot change.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that our eternal spirits are in a sense, made of love- that same love that we seek and are yet so afraid of.

Years ago, (1979) I wrote a song called “”What If I loved You?”   

At the time I wrote it, I was working graveyard at an all night gas station.  It was about 3 in the morning. I sat in my glass booth, feeling a little lost and alone.  I played an A chord on my guitar, then an F minor, and the words just came -“What if I loved you?  Isn't that O.K.- to feel this way again?” I began to weep (it’s a good thing I didn’t have any customers at the moment).  This wasn’t just an appeal to the young woman I’d been dating. It was as if I was asking permission from myself, to love- and the more I asked- the more I wrote- the more the tears came.   Because the answer was “yes!”

Yes, I will feel it all.  Yes, I know I may end up feeling hurt, but yes, no matter how it goes, I will end up feeling fully alive.  Is it worth the risk?  I think so.  

Join us in saying "yes" to love at our next free event!  

"And"

Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."

In a sense, unless you're willing to love your neighbor and yourself,  you really can't love either!  Love is like the sun.  It shines.  Period.  It doesn't shine on some and not others.  So, if I choose love, it's toward you and me. 

As Covey said, "Love is a verb."  So the way I shine on you and on me is caring for you and caring for me too.  But how does this look when it comes to boundaries?

In a sense, God gives us two jobs: 

Job 1, to love our neighbor- to love the people He has put in our lives and that we have drawn into our lives, and to love them with all our hearts.

Job 2, to love ourselves. 

Interestingly, we can't do either job unless we do both.  

But how? 

In sensitive situations, in your most intimate relationships, when things aren't feeling comfortable for you, how do you come through for loved ones without letting yourself down? 

One simple word:  "and." 

I will never leave you  AND   I will never leave me.

Let's take a deeper look:

1) The word “and” is the difference between love and doormat.

If I "love" you but am not willing to love me, then I'm willing to endure a relationship or situation I'm not comfortable with.  Now instead of loving you, I have addicted myself to you and will eventually resent you.

2) The word “and” that is the difference between divorce and boundaries.

If I "love" me but am unwilling to love you, then I am prone to bolt rather than committing to the wonderful and often painful process of living in my boundaries (in the centering questions).

But if I am willing to love you, and me, as long as I sense your sincerity, I will never leave you. I will live in the centering questions and lovingly, consistently, relentlessly see to guide you to something that works for both of us.  And in this, I will never leave me. 

To love your neighbor then, is to love yourself and visa versa.

So in your world, the sun is always shining and it is shining on everyone, including you.   

WalMart and Walks in the Mountains

Our work this week in Agreement 2 is using selected breakthrough methods to move from negative to positive feelings.

I was thinking about this on a walk as I passed a retirement center.  My heart sank inside of me. "I don't want to end up there” I thought.  “I don't want this last phase of my earthly journey. In fact I don't want my life on earth to end at all!  I love it here! I don't want to say goodbye to parks, to 7/Eleven, to Walmart, to DVDs, to walks in the mountains.  Why must I go through this?"

I used an air pencil and summarized my feelings to my left.  Then I waited for inspiration as I moved myself closer to God.  

Soon I felt two sweet and clear impressions, which I wrote to my right.

1) “John, everyone will go through it.  No one is left behind. It's not like you're the only one on this path.  All who you love will be with you again,” and

2) “I'll be with you through this.  Don't worry.”

Suddenly,  I had broken through some subtle despair into the light of hope and love.   

God wants us to live in breakthrough.

Plan for Success

““Over the years, I have observed that those who accomplish the most in this world are those with a vision for their lives, with goals to keep them focused on their vision and tactical plans for how to achieve them. Knowing where you are going and how you expect to get there can bring meaning, purpose, and accomplishment to life.”

— Russell Ballard

You will tend to live in a random, reactive life and end up going around in circles, or you will get serious about a spending significant amount of time in yearly, monthly, weekly and daily planning sessions.

Planning (The Right Questions):

1) What are my top goals (what I see for my life)?
According to Bredon Burchard, this tends to divide into 3 areas:
a) What kind of person do I want to be- what kind of character do I want to develop?
b) What kind of relationships do I want to have? and
c) What contributions do I want to make in this world?

2) Are these really my goals?
Any Pudicombe suggests that this is a huge question. Do you wonder why you’re hesitate to do anything toward that one goal of yours? Often, it’s because you don’t really want it.

3) Within my goals, what are my current top 1 to 3 projects- projects that, if completed, will significantly move me toward the visions described above?

According to Sean Covey, your willingness to deeply focus on 1 to 3 projects (not 10), minimizing your commitments to the other projects, for now is the number one element of success toward your life visions.

“Being willing to hibernate some projects (even some awesome ones) is the oxygen your key projects require to live and thrive.” - Yoda  

So little time. So Many Projects.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I'm actually as proud of the things we haven't done as the things I have done.” - Steve Jobs

Examples of projects within goals:
a) Within my goal of being a loving, present, husband (father could be: Create a family reunion in December.
b) Within my goal (or life vision) of assisting citizens of the world toward greater health and vitality could be: Create the world’s best collection of organic recipes ever.
etc.

3) As I look at these top projects what are the most important actions, right now?
Daily: What 3 actions could I complete today that would move me forward on this?
Weekly: What are the most important goals, this week, that would move me forward?
Monthly planning: Same question.
Yearly planning: Same question.

4) What specific actions could I put directly in my Google Calendar and when?- including blocks time for the essential dimensions of creating my visions, which are (according to Brendon):

• Sharpen the saw time (A-Choice Routine)

• Family Time

• Creative Time and

• Big Action Time (the big, juicy actions that will move your goal forward)

• Free Time (Down time. Regenerate)

---

How am I doing?

At the end of each day, ask yourself “How am I doing?”
If, each day, your lists just keep getting longer consider these questions:

1) Are you putting actions in a step by step list for today, or even better, directly in your google calendar? (or just leaving them stranded in your different, project lists)

2) Are you letting less important things get in the way of important actions?

3) Are you willing to archive some projects that others may live?

4) Are you willing to take the extra and sometimes agonizing time to delegate, train and empower others?  (This is often the big key).

---

Time Management

Guiding Principles & Practices

• Planning first.  Action 2nd. Carpenter’s rule: “Measure twice, cut once”

• Be prayerful. Be inspired. Ask for God's guidance. Time spent in prayer doubles the effectiveness of time in action.

• Meditate on the why.  Think of the people who need your inspiration, your smile, your commitment to excellence, and your love.  Think of how you'll feel when it's over- as you look back with contentment and gratitude for the opportunity to come through for them, for yourself and for God.

• Make decisions vs. gathering clutter in your mind, your email inbox, your car, your kitchen counter, garage, desktop, anywhere and everywhere. Life is continually coming at you with decisions to make. Make them, or get cluttered to death.

• Park planned actions in appropriate lists i.e. “inbox” (when on the run), then "project 1", "project 2", or if it’s daily, in your habit tracker etc. (including at least tentative due dates) and finally in “next action” and/or calendar. By managing from these lists (vs. your head) you will be amazed at how good it feels to be, as David Allen puts it, “appropriately engaged (in the present).”

• Break goals (visions) down into small, bite sized actions. Dr. John DeMartini says that the number one cause of loss of energy is that our actions are not broken down into small enough pieces.

• David Allen’s 2 minute rule: If you can get something significant done in 2 minutes just do it! (vs. forwarding it or reprioritizing it). Bypass your planner. Bypass your google calendar.

• Put first things first and get into high leverage action - As Mel Robbins says, grab yourself by the shirt and force yourself away from secondary distractions and on to the key actions that lead to what you want. Work like there’s no tomorrow- like this is it, which leads to…

• Block time for projects and key actions in your google calendar.  

• Be satisfied and trusting with “one thing at a time.” God has your back for tomorrow. He has your back for 5 minutes from now. Live in the present. Focus on this one thing, that is right now, and then the next. “All is well!"

• Be willing to delegate (i.e. your children, co-workers, employees etc.) even if means hiring someone.  Stephen Covey once said that even if he was at his office for only 2 hours during a work day, he would spend 30 minutes of that time training and empowering his assistant. 

• Return to and stay present to your lists and calendar.
  Build trust with your brain.  "Wow, he IS coming back to those lists and to his calendar. I won't have to keep reminding him over and over."

In all of the above, remember that success awaits those who are consistent- not just those that are more talented, or better looking, or smarter etc.- no! Success awaits the consistent.

The only thing that can keep you from your objective is getting off the path that leads to it.

Stay on the path. Keep your eye on your visions (your goals). In your willingness to serve on this planet and with God as your partner, endless good things are possible through you.

Mastery Tip #1

Mastery Materials can occur as overwhelming.

Dear Mastery Family!

Mastery is not so much a project in and of itself. It's a support for getting YOUR projects done and your life mastered.

Don't worry about how much homework you get done etc. Every aspect of Mastery is only a possibility for support. Do as much or as little homework as you'd like. Remember, it's not a course and there are no grades!

We're here to cheer you on in whatever you're doing and however you're doing it.

Even if you just complete the Tuesday night meetings, you'll end up[ ahead of your own game. Everything else can be a bonus!

We love you guys!

John and Narelle

P.S. The good news is (and this is the magic of Mastery) the net analysis will show a gain. Whatever time you put in will come back to you in increased effectiveness, stronger relationships, better health, greater peace and even more money.

Click here for what we've been working on this week.

Pour It On

Fire occurs between oxygen and some sort of fuel.  The fuel must be heated to its ignition temperature for combustion to occur and destruction to begin.  

Think of negative, limiting, fearful thoughts as fuel.  Think of negative, outside input as heat.

What do I mean by negative input?  

a) Too much news -  in other words, listening for the sake of listening without any proactive involvement.  It’s paralyzing. It’s stifling. It’s frustrating, unless you are in some kind of action about what you are listening to.  This world needs less agitation and more action. Get involved or turn it off.

b) Too much music -  especially Pop - In 2008, Adrian North of Scotland's Heriot-Watt University published the largest study yet of musical taste, involving 36,000 people, 60 countries and three years of work. One group of listeners showed a genuine and significant lack of creativity: pop music lovers.

It’s not just a lack of creativity though.  Music in general takes you into someone else’s world, someone else’s emotions, someone else’s story and out of your personal power.  I’m not saying there’s not a place for music. There definitely is, especially inspirational music (i.e. “I Can Only Imagine”), and sometimes you are indeed blessed with someone else’s story - a story with good ending- a story that inspires action.  

In general though the danger of too much news and too much music is thinning not only your creativity but your sense of personal power, literally adding heat to the current fuel of negative thoughts, creating of course a fire and your life coming down.

Let’s go back to the initial fuel: Your own thoughts - meaning, without realizing it we tend to hurl ourselves into a powerless stupor as we turn the brain to “spin cycle” and continue to play the old tapes of our personal failures and weakness, with no clear objective.  We don’t even notice we’re doing it. It’s just happening in the background.

So, fuel (your thoughts) + heat (negative input) = fire (your life burning down)

What’s the solution?  Positive, inspirational, input.   How much?  Pour it on.

When a fire truck pulls up to a burning house they don’t show up with squirt guns.  Check the picture above. These guys are drenching the place. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?  That house is your mind. Pour it on!

My friend Eric, who inspired this blog, was talking with me yesterday, “John, with what’s going on in most of our heads, we can’t afford to just dabble in inspirational input.  We need to put our headphones on and flood ourselves!”

What am I suggesting?
Joel Osteen
Tony Robbins
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir
K-love Christian Radio
Casting Crowns
Mercy Me
Stephen Covey
Louise Hay
Les Brown
Caroline Leaf
Steven Curtis Chapman

The list goes on.  The result? The real you emerging.  Because according to Caroline Leaf, the real you, buried beneath the negative,  is actually and naturally positive.

That doesn’t mean you don’t need to cry it out sometimes.   You do, and when you’re crying from your pain, not your blame- when you’re crying out the pain and hurt so you can open yourself to healing, this is super positive.  I’m talking about, as a main diet, positive, inspirational input.

Getting somewhere wonderful, for most of us, is a long journey.  And that takes fuel.  So you know what to do.

P.S.

1) Inspirational input is not a substitute for action.  It is to inspire action. This is not the case with millions, who listen to everything and seem to do nothing.  This is not you!

2) Walking is the perfect combination with inspirational input.  

3) I'm not saying not to listen to music.  I am saying, get fueled up with positive thoughts and energy.   At the same time, be sensitive to your need for balance.  Research indicates, for instance, that upbeat music can really enhance your workout.  And sometimes it's just time to party!   Putting on some great dance music and going wild with your friends can be balancing and even healing  (My personal favorite is Michael Jackson). 

4) Headphones, CDS etc. are for your steady, daily flow of inspiration.  But now it's time for your Friday night movie.  Oh yes, and we are just getting started on the inspirational input:

Classics like: It's a Wonderful Life, Family Man, Big Fish etc. 

Christian movies (which are always good, even the B movies) - "I Can Only Imagine" (one of Narelle and I's favorites)  "War Room," "The Passion", "The Encounter", etc.

LDS movies (i.e. "Once I Was a Beehive", "Saratov", "The Other Side of Heaven")

The list is endless 

My friend Eric even suggests that some post it reminders could be helpful.

Seeing is Healing

Through the grace of God, whatever you are willing to see- that you could have done differently, it is as if, this is what you did do.

For instance, if you can now see that you could have been more supportive to your spouse during a crisis, through your sincere sorrow and through grace, it is as if you actually were more supportive.  

In your willingness to come to Jesus and, as appropriate, make amends with someone you’ve injured, something changes in you -  something is healed in the person you let down, and something, somehow, is made right.

How is this done? What actually happens?  I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that this gives us the power to tell ourselves the truth.

The ability to tell yourself the truth (to honestly account) does not come all at once, but if you’re committed. This honesty will leave you free and empowered, for God is willing to pour His healing love and forgiveness into your honest and open.

This is the magic of accountability; 

1. In your humility you honestly look at your choices.

2. As you look you see.

3. As you see, trusting in Christs atonement, your heart becomes even more open.

4. As your heart becomes more open, the grace of God becomes even more present.

5. And as the grace of God becomes more present, all things tend to work together for your good (and everyone else's good).

The Gospel means "Good News."  What could be better news than this? As we humbly come to understand what we could have done, then, through the atonement of Christ, it's as if we did it.

Reference: Agreement 9) I Cause My World

Embracing What Is, Brings Me Home to God

Agreement 8 lands in this Mantra:

“I'm so thankful for everything, just as it is-  especially for the opportunity of growth, service, love, forgiveness, patience & humility inside of ______________________ (whatever you're resisting) and that through this you are making weak things strong and bringing me home.  Thank you for bringing me home." 

Your homework this week is to say above every day (or perhaps for the rest of your life.) with your arms out wide by your window, or on your knees in your closet with your head bowed in reverence, gratitude and commitment. Either one.

You Are Beautiful In Every Way

Who are you really?

Come down from the Mahana. You have always been beautiful.

It’s easy to interpret other people’s anger, or judgement or abuse as a reflection of who we are.  It’s easy to reach spurious conclusions:

“I’m not good enough.  Obviously.  Why else would he (or she) be treating me like this? I’ve been positive and full of energy before.  That didn’t work out.  I’ve been in touch with my sexuality before.  I’ve been affectionate or competent before.  It only brought me heart ache.  I took some chances showing up as my real self before, but I won’t be hurt again.  I will spare my self of further pain.  I will not give you all of me.  I will not give you the real me.  I will only give you part of me, so that the rest of me can be safe in my tree.”

We set up tests for people to prove that this is all true.  It is what I call the “Mahana Test.”  “I will not come to you with my excellence or virtue until you accept me in my compromise (what I also call “my shadow self”).  

A woman, for instance, who was sexually abused is inclined to show up unsexy.  Her sexuality is the source of great pain.  Her abuse is also the proof that she has been and will always be nothing more and nothing less that what people can use her for.  So she will test the men in her life.  “Even though I’m not showing up as sexy (my former real self), if you will love me in my shadow self - if you will love me ‘as I am’ (not sexy), then I know that I have true, inner worth.”

A man who was told what a “good boy” he was, because unlike the other kids in his family, he always seemed happy and never seemed to have any significant problems or needs.  This man could conclude that to be loved he must avoid being vulnerable or honest or in need of anything or anyone.  He may ultimately rebel against this imposition by acting out- to test people- to see if they will love him as a lunatic, or erratic, or unrestrained.  “If you will love me ‘as I am’” he says - in my shadow, crazy not good boy self’ then I will I will know that I am truly loveable.”

Behind all of this fear- behind these tests and sabotages is the truth about you.  Because the real you is sexy!  The real you actually is composed, moderate and considerate!  

Joel Osteen points out that this real self is like a little chick trying to peck it’s way out of a shell of fear of false voices, and for Mahana, an inclination to keep testing people until she can prove that she will never be loved “as she is.”

Our fear of rejection and our inclination tests people’s love and acceptance dissolves in 3 stages:

1) We must be willing, in prayer and meditation, to hear the truth about yourself.  

I’ve often suggested to people asking God directly, “Dear Heavenly Father, do you love me?” and then wait for an answer.   The answer may not come in words, but it will come in a feeling.

I read a card once, inspired by Libby Roderick that speaks to this kind of experience:


You are beautiful in every way.  You are loved in every way.  You are perfect in every way-  for in every way you are perfectly loved.

Your life, your love and everything about you is nothing less than a miracle.

How could anyone fail to see this?

Yet, beyond the voices of this earth, in Heaven, a song is ever playing.  It is the music of truth - the perfect melody of who you really are.

Listen to this music- to this voice, and know that you are beautiful!
 

2) We must be willing, to say the truth about our self, even if it feels uncomfortable.  We must be willing to at least consider the possibility that we are children of a living God who loves us and who’s spiritual DNA runs through our soul.

Going back to Joel’s statement about the chick, as you say the truth about yourself, it’s not that your making up something, it’s that you’re finally willing to admit and to give power now, through your voice, to what has been trying to emerge your entire life!   

I was amazed just the other day as I read these out loud to my Mastery friends, just how naturally these words want to sink into me.  It was like water going into a paper towel.  Why?  Because it’s true.  We may not have played this all out yet, but it’s all in the blue print.  That’s why it feels right to say it.  

So as you’re reading this blog right now, stop for a moment.  Stand up tall, or sit up straight and tell yourself the truth.  Are you ready?  Here it comes (Here you come):

• I am blessed.

• I am prosperous

• I am successful.

• I am victorious.

• I am talented.

• I am creative.

• I am wise.

• I am healthy.

• I am in shape.

• I am energetic.

• I am happy.

• I am positive.

• I am passionate.

• I am strong.

• I am confident.

• I am beautiful (I am attractive)

• I am valuable.

• I am free.

• I am redeemed.

• I am forgiven.

• I am accepted.

• I am accepting.

• I am approved.

• I am prepared.

• I am qualified.

• I am motivated.

• I am focused.

• I am determined.

• I am patient.

• I am generous.

• I am excellent.

• I am equipped.

• I am disciplined.

• I am empathetic.

• I am full of life.

• I am able.

• I am compassionate.

• I am competent.

• I am kind.

• I am secure.

• I am precious beyond price.

• I am of infinite worth.

• I am God’s own child.

• Christ atoned for me.
  
  Inspired by Joel Osteen’s “The Power of I Am”

3) We must be willing to live the truth about ourselves.  

This means you will go in the opposite direction of your Mahana tests;  

If you have been showing up as unsexy to see if people will love you as you are, you will get in shape, wear makeup (if you look good in makeup), look members of the opposite sex directly in the eyes and take the chance that something could spark!  How fun!

If you’ve been showing up as unmotivated, you will light a fire in every area of your life.  You will passionately and positively move toward your truest desires.  You are a pillar of action!
This is really you!  Why would you test someone to see if they will love you in your shadow self when your real self is so much more fun?

And that’s the whole point Mahana, why are you testing us in your compromise when it would be so much more fun to love us in your excellence.

You only pass this way once.  How will you show up?  In your beauty?  In your excellence?  In your competence? -  or your compromise, your testing, your shadow self   Show up as the real you Mahana.  Come down from the tree.

Reference: Agreement 6) Show Up As Your Real & Best Self

How to Listen to or Say Affirmations

Re posted 5 16 2018

Saying or listening to Affirmations can be empowering and motivating or cause resistance and frustration, depending on your approach.  

Here's are two helpful tips:

Tip #1) Don’t try. Don’t resist. Just Be.
As you say or listen to affirmations, don't try to feel anything. Don't try to experience anything.  Don't try to become anything.  Don't try to have the truth of affirmations sink into you and change you.  But, just as important, don’t fight or deny what you’re hearing or saying.    

Just listen. Just be present.   Let's do an example of what not to do:

Example: "I am present, peaceful and full of love for all men"

Reaction 1 - Effort: "Yes, this is so important.  I've got to be present.  And I know it's important to love everyone.  I'm going to do this!  Yes!  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!  Must love!  Now!  Oh My goodness, this is hard.  I can do this!  Wow, I think I'm worn out by this affirmation."

Reaction 2 - Resistance: "What!?  No I'm not.  I'm not present, and it sucks.  In fact, I think it could be impossible.  Why am I even listening to this or saying it?  It's for someone else, who actual is present and peaceful and loving."

Here is an amazing truth:  A new reality will find its way to you as you hold a space for it.    

If you run after it, or try to capture it, or possess it or force it into yourself, it runs away.

A new possibility (an affirmation) is like a deer who walks quietly into a peaceful meadow.  Your affirmation will find its way into you as long as you're not pushing it out by insisting on it's existence.  It exist by itself.  "I am peaceful" for instance, exists already.  Just be present to the possibility.  

An even better comparison is dating and courtship. When you are courting a woman, hopefully you aren’t begging her for acceptance, pawing for love, stalking her, or otherwise insisting her into your life. You are simply present to her, kind to her, inviting, patient, so that soon the acquaintance becomes a relationship and your dream becomes a reality. How? By tracking her down? No, by your consistent, stress-less, loving, attention. Same with affirmations and the actions that your affirmations lead to.

Look at it like this: In a sense nothing good really ever comes from us.  It all comes from God, through us.  This is what I'm saying about affirmations; You can’t make goodness, patience, abundance, marriage etc. exist.  What you can do, as you listen to or say an affirmation, is to simply be present, which makes you like an empty cup, without resistance, ready to be filled.

Your real, self, loving, financially abundant, and confident self is ready to emerge as you hold a space for it - without forcing it, or resisting it, a new possibility will be spiritually born in you.  Through this process a new blueprint is being mapped out in your heart.

With this new blue print comes new enthusiasm, determination and action, which then cements the blueprint.

I hold a place for something (I see possibilities)
I move toward what I see (I take action)
Through my movement (my action), I clarify and confirm who I am


Tip #2) Melt any lingering resistance (“I’m planting a seed”)
Studies have shown that despite the pep talk I gave you above, saying something that is not currently true can put you into a subtle state of confusion and resistance. The non-resistance approach I’ve discussed above helps, but there is a sure-fire method you could add if needed:

Preface your affirmations the Louise Hay phrase, “I’m planting a seed” i.e. “I’m planting a seed. I am 145 pounds of pure, vibrant, health” (even if you are currently 180). This affirms a clear message of possibility and at the same embraces your current reality, resolving conflict or resistance. It’s a very powerful tool in this sense.

Going Forward
When you're sucked into a negative belief or story, return to your vision and your affirmations.  Remember that causing a new belief happens in two ways: 

1) Inside out (through breakthrough and affirmations): being present to, holding space for a new reality without trying to force it into yourself and

2) outside in  (action).

"Action will remove the doubt that theory cannot solve.”   - They Heist

Agreement 4 - Hoping for Nothing

Years ago I did a concert in Arizona.  The hosts of the event invited me to spend the night with their family after the concert.  

The next morning  I had breakfast with the family, including an amazingly cute little 4-year-old girl. I was enchanted by her.  She was like a Disney character!  

She got talking about different people and relationships as we ate together -  her Dad, her Brothers, Grandmother.

I think at some level I also wanted to be part of this little princess’s circle, so I began exploring possibilities for our relationship, trying to see, now with our 15-minute history, how I fit in.

I asked her, “so am your neighbor?”  

“No”, she calmly said.

“Am I a relative?” I asked.

Again, very calmly she answered, “no.”

Finally, I asked, “Am I your friend?”

She sort of half looked up at me, in between spoonfuls of oatmeal and then matter of factly said, “No.  You’re nothing to me!”   

When we genuinely give to someone, we are something to this person and perhaps always will be.  Through our selfless love and desire for this person’s happiness, we have given him or her a hope in love.

I hadn't given anything to this little girl.  On the contrary, I was seeking to get something.
I was digging for a relationship, for validation.  I wanted her to say something like, "Well of course John!  You're my new friend!"   

How it worked out with her is how it works out with everyone we seek to get something from.

Jesus said, "Lend (or give) hoping for nothing."  This is the path to what we seek.  For when I genuinely give, I become free from the prison of my own self-absorbed agenda to be noticed, or important, or affirmed.  This is a lonely world, that each of us yearns to be free from.  In sincerely loving and serving someone else, not for me but for this person, I am free from this world.  

This is why Jesus also said that he who will seek his life (he who tries extract love, or validation, or cooperation from those around him) will lose it (will end up like I did with this little girl, like "nothing").  But he who will lose his life in the love and service of others will find it.  

Love is freedom.  Seeking to control or to get something from someone he or she isn't willing, or wanting, or inclined to give, is prison.  

Make every moment a gift to those you love, or even to those you would like to love.
How will this look for you this week?    

Photo by Camille Minouflet

I Will Stand For You. I Will Stand For Us.

“Now the Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. And He found in the temple those who sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers doing business. When He had made a whip of cords He drove them all out of the temple.”

As Randy Jacobs points out, before cleansing the temple (turning over tables and driving everyone out) the Savior took time to braid the whip.  This was evidence that He wasn't bringing His story into this moment.  He was bringing His commitment.  He was standing for his friends.  He was standing for God.  He was standing for the temple (His house).  He was living in His boundaries.

It is interesting to note, also, that He didn't get much resistance for His demonstration.  As you stand for people’s lives- in most cases, neither will you.  

How do I stand for your life? 

I make a commitment to give you, not what you are asking for, but what you need. 

I have hard conversations with you- conversations about what I'm willing to do, what I'm not willing to do, & what I think would be best for everyone. 

I lovingly show you what's not working for me, and really, what's not working for you either.   

Reference: Agreement 3) Boundaries / Agreement 4) Give Love vs. Control

Seeing Blue

Re posted 4/19/18

Below is a story about two people choosing two different realities- what I sometimes call "red" and "blue" (distrust/trust).  The crazed gunman experienced the man working in the convenience store as an enemy (though he was not). The man working at the convenience store, even after being shot, experienced the gunman as just temporarily confused.  The gunman chose to see only his own story.  The man working in the store chose to see the possibility of someone, in the end, coming through for the human race.

To live in breakthrough, through meditation, prayer or just a brisk walk,  is to live in trust.  

More on breakthrough here.

Fueling up (your "A-Choice" Routine)

I remember once being very busy, driving to an appointment.  I glanced down at my fuel gauge.  I was almost out of gas!  As crazy as this sounds I remember sort of asking my car, "Why must I always be filling you up?!"   

Interesting.  There is a part of us that truly doesn't get it, that if we don't fuel up we run out of gas.  We almost resent that fact that we must stop so that we can go!

When it comes fueling our core, we need to fuel up every day, just as the children of Israel had to collect their Manna, fresh, again, every morning.  

Click here for more on "A-Choice" Routine  (Scroll down the page, below the purple cylinders)

You were born for amazing

Amazing happens when abundance collides with faith, focus & living life Intentionally

1) Abundance
One of Narelle's favorite Louise Hay Affirmations is: “All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good.”  This is your starting place, not the final destination.

Years ago, I’d been struggling with my self esteem. My friend Dave called me one morning: “John” he said, “I had a dream last night. I was in the premortal life. I was surrounded by the most amazing, wonderful, beings you could imagine- truly great and noble people. John, you were one of them.” He went on. "John, you can't build on failure.  You can only build on success." What was he saying? If my conclusion is that whatever I’ve done, or whatever I’ve got, or whoever I am isn’t enough, that’s not very encouraging! THAT isn’t going to send me running toward the victory.  

What Dave was talking about was the principle of abundance- meaning to celebrate what IS, not what could be or should have been. Let’s put it in another way; It’s possible that there is a celebration in heaven that occurs every morning, just because you and I open our eyes and get out of bed! That’s what Dave was saying!- that you and I are beautiful and wonderful as is and that life is amazing and full of opportunity as is! Now THAT is something I can build on! THIS kind of abundant thinking turns out to be the fuel that wins the race.

With this as your starting place- a gentle but firm sense of having and being enough, (weaknesses and all), with an underlying celebration of this amazing opportunity called earth, we will feel the encouragement and energy necessary to create more of what we already feel. Want (or desperation) attracts more want. Not good enough attracts more not good enough, but celebration and gratitude attracts more to celebrate and be grateful for.
   

2) Faith, Focus and Living Life Intentionally
Let’s break it down:

• Return to your vision(s), daily.

• Keep your energy up by managing your life from your lists,

• Break goals down into small, bite sized actions.

• Park planned actions in appropriate lists.

• Make decisions vs. gathering clutter

• Consistently return to and act on your action lists. .

• Be satisfied and trusting with one thing at a time.

• Finally, get into high leverage action and put first things first. .
  
  Click here for the full story on Faith, Focus & Living Life Intentionally

You Were Born for Amazing!

Mastery Habits

This week's homework is huge!
Click here for Mastery Habits in your workbook. 

Fail safe - Remember that the Mastery Habits provide support for your personal habits and that your personal habits are what support your vision. What you want is a fail safe trajectory (a process of insuring your success), where one supports the other. This is the reason for the Mastery Habits i.e. “A-Choice Routine”, Exercise, Attending Meetings, Mastery Journal etc.

Determine what level you're doing our Mastery Habits at and your "Skin in the Game" for these habits.  This process culminates at the page that says "Mastery Habits Summary." 
This is your Mastery map for the next 11 weeks.  We're excited for you! 

Click here for all other videos and other Mastery action.
Password is in your workbook.

Please feel free to text us if you have any questions about Mastery.  Please do a group text to 801 613 8354 and 801 548 8212 (John and Narelle).