How to Save Your Little Prince, and in So Doing, Save Yourself

In the amazing classic, “The Little Prince”, the little Prince comes to care for a rose. The relationship was difficult at times, but nothing filled him with more joy than to take care of her. She, in return, filled his life with a joy that only she could give, or as the little Prince put it, “She cast her fragrance and her radiance over me.”

Unfortunately, the little Prince got carried away in too many of his interplanetary adventures, and his little rose was without him. As time went on, planet to planet, the little Prince missed his rose more than anything. Wherever he was, he just wanted to go home (where his rose was) - to take care of her.

He often wondered how she was doing without him. This is key. Of course he wondered. She was his rose! “…she’s the one for whom I killed the caterpillars... she’s the one I listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all.” 

Eventually, his anguish consumed him, and he finally found a way to get back to the planet where his rose was. But the rose had frozen, even though he’d left her under a large protective glass covering.

The author of the book leaves the final chapter with somewhat of a question mark. Perhaps the little Prince would find a way to revive her. But what does this all mean for you? A man’s greatest instinct and joy is to take care of his rose (which is you). He may lose sight of this from time to time, but the way to rescue him is to never douse this natural instinct. And how does a woman douse this instinct? By reacting to a man’s temporarily lost self with, “That’s O.K. I don’t need anything from you anyway. I’m happy. I’m good.”

Don’t fall into this trap. As you need him to come through for you, he also needs you to come through for him. But how? How do you assist your man in returning to his true nature?

Here’s the secret: One specific, actionable, doable request at a time, followed up with your gratitude and encouragement. If spirituality is important to you, grab your scriptures and ask him to join you for some reading. If your cup is filled through affection, ask him to hold you. If seeing him play with your kids is important, ask him if he’d be willing to play soccer with them for 20 minutes.

This path (your specific requests followed by encouragement and appreciation) is the path to your husband’s heart. It is also the best way to support who he really is and his only path to God. Be faithful to your Prince in this sense- in any way you’re inspired, and “as moved upon by the Holy Ghost”, ask for very specific behaviors, and let him know how his actions touch you and reach you. This is the way to reach him.

Don’t let yourself freeze (like the rose), because it will not be just you. It will be your man and to some extent, your entire family. He can come through for you, perhaps not always to full power, but with your sensitivity and love, he will return to his rose before you freeze, and you will feel the security and safety that you need and deserve.

Your husband, of course, is the only one truly responsible to rise up to his full measure. It’s up to him. But if you want to be part of it, what I’m describing is deeply healing to you, him, and to your family.

As you continue to provide him with your well-timed, specific, peaceful, doable, requests (i.e. scripture studies, evening walks, watch the kids while you go to the spa, even give you a massage once in a while- whatever), you will be lighting an instinct in your man that he was born to fullfull.

So, don’t get discouraged if your little prince seems to have forgotten what planet he left you on. And don’t let yourself not need him anymore. Because even if he seems to be gone, your honest, tender expressions of your needs and your specific requests and encouragement will awaken his lost soul, and he will rise to the stature of the man you once dreamed of, and you will both be saved from a life without each other.