Particulars - "My understanding of you"

The “Particulars” sheet is a fun way to increase your awareness of your spouse’s world, life, values, preferences and existence.


  1. Copy and paste the list below and create a document on your phone with evernote, or google docs, called "Particulars." 

  2. On a walk, drive or even sitting face to face, interview each other on the following.  

  3. Keep good notes.  Contemplate about what you’ve learned.

  4. You do not need to do this in one sitting.

  5. Particulars - Added value!  "Particulars" can also be used as a kind of "Face to Face", get to know you time i.e. "How do you feel when _____________?"  or "Tell me more about how this, or how this feels when _________" etc.   You can add this question to any response on any question above. 

  • Favorite love language (including examples and perhaps how you feel when _______)

  • 2nd Favorite love language (including examples)

  • Favorite Holidays, in order and explanations (why? and/or how your spouse feels when the kind of holiday he or she has described unfolds)

  • Favorite traditions (part of holidays or not):

  • Favorite kinds of gifts (things you like me to buy you):

  • Favorite dates (things like you like to do on our date nights, including inexpensive to expensive):

  • Behaviors (my behaviors) that create positive energy and/or attraction toward me (i.e. when I play with the kids etc.)

  • Favorite romance activities (what warms your spouse’s heart, romantically?):

  • What you like me to do when you’re upset or working through something:

  • Top five favorite books of all time:

  • Top 5 favorite movies of all time:

  • Favorite foods:

  • Favorite Desserts:

  • Favorite restaurants:

  • 3 Closest Friends:

  • Favorite relatives.

  • Favorite childhood memories.

  • What do you like to do when you come home?

  • What do you like me to do when you come home?

  • What you like me to do or say when you are grieving

  • What you like me to do for you when you’re sick.

  • Favorite 2 to 3 colors.

  • Favorite massage i.e. foot, back, neck, head?

  • Favorite time to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.

  • Favorite chore you do for me.

  • Clothing measurements

  • Shoe size.

  • Ring size.

  • Favorite nightly and/or self care.

Add some of your own!